That Girl Was Me….
September is National Suicide Prevention month so I thought I’d reshare you story. I hope it will bless and encourage someone.
That Girl Was Me….
September is National Suicide Prevention month so I thought I’d reshare you story. I hope it will bless and encourage someone.
Hey y’all !! What’s up? What’s up? I haven’t been here in a while, lots going on in our neck of the woods. How about y’all?
My hubby is STILL working from home y’all! Prolly no plans to go back in the office till the first of the year.
My Daddy is in the process of moving here so we are trying to find him a place and get him settled.
Had some close family members with some serious health and my grandmother past away about a month or so ago. No one was able to be with her and she died all alone and I think that just made it more difficult. There are some other things but I can’t share them. Just a difficult season here, which I know it is for many of you.
Had a lot on my mind as we’ve being going through all these different things. Add in my health issues and school, no alone time, being stuck at home 🤪 and the Rona I’ve found myself frozen at times, maybe you can relate to that.
Some of you know I’ve been in school to become a Holistic Health and Wellness practitioner which I’m so excited about this journey the Lord has had me on. It’s just taken me a little longer than I thought it would but it’s ok Imma get there. It’s ALL in Gods timing.
Extending grace to myself is so much harder than it is to do for someone else. I’ve had a lot going on around me and IN me. Some of you know I’ve struggled with ED…….eating disorder. Sometimes ED screams so loud and other days I feel victorious and it’s so quite. I’m in counseling with a nutritionist who is awesome but imma just say it’s hard work and it’s an every day battle.
A battle to NOT weigh myself everyday.
A battle to eat lunch or not eat lunch.
A battle to not restrict food.
A battle to not eat a bunch of cookies or a big cup of Cheeseballs.
It’s just a battle.
I know the battle belongs to the Lord but sometimes we’ve done things for so long they become ingrained in us and they become a habit and it is a process of overcoming.
So where am I at today? And this sooooo soooo important to recall these things.
I’m not where I wanna be but I’m not where I use to be either.
Well….I’m no longer abusing laxatives or diuretics. I haven’t done that in 2 years or more. That’s a big ole W!!! 🎉
There were days I would wake up and decide I’m not going to eat today and I wouldn’t. Now I’ve come to realize that restricting food was a form of punishment to myself. I can tell you that thought hasn’t crossed my mind in months, PRAISE THE LORD!! 🙏🙌🎉
I’m not weighing myself everyday. Y’all literally don’t even know what an amazing accomplishment this is. I would weigh myself everyday, sometimes 2-3 times a day. In order to do this though I had to remove the scale from the bathroom and outta my sight. The first week was so hard I almost got up in the middle of the night to weigh myself, I know it sounds crazy. But that’s ED for ya! I did really well for about 2 or 3 months and not even sure what happened but I decided to go to it’s deep dark hiding place and pulled that evil scale out and stepped on it. THAT WAS A BAD MISTAKE FOR ME! It set me over the top because I had actually gained a little weight. I got in all kinds of fear and old patterns started showing up. Imma do this, Imma do that. I’m not gonna eat this or that. Imma exercise for X amount. That’s ED behavior and it’s what I’m trying to overcome.
But here’s the thing, I’m finally allowing my body and metabolism to heal from all the dieting and self destructive behavior I’ve done to my body so that’s going to happen before it gets better. You can’t put your body through hell for years and years and expect it to perform a peak condition in just a few months. NO it took me a lifetime to get here. It’s a healing process kinda like how our hearts have to heal after being broken. I could just choose something quick and fast because so often quick and fast works, we see results but its temporary and we find ourselves right back in the same place 6 months or 2 years from now at least that’s been my experience. At this place in my life I’m choosing healing and finally getting to the root and freedom even if it takes me a lifetime.
So my whole purpose when the Lord lead me to my counselor, Hope who lead me to the nutritionist, Amie. I said to her I don’t want to lose weight…..well I mean the flesh part of me does but the inner man of me wants freedom and healing and to finally have a healthy relationship with food AND the scale AND love my body AND not curse it.
Far to long I’ve gained my worth and value over what I saw in the mirror and what number I saw on the scale. You may not be able to relate to that particularly. For you it might be how your house looks, the clothes your wear, your job or title, car you drive, your kids, neighborhood you live in, etc. At some point most of us at have tried to find our value in other things. I’m hear to tell you it will LEAVE YOU EMPTY and searching for more my friend!!
Only Jesus can feel that hole that we try so desperately to fill with other things.
Another BIG W 🎉 is I’m eating lunch almost every single day. I haven’t done that in yeeeaaaarrrssss y’all! That’s incredible! But let me tell you how scary that is. To add in eating lunch….a meal I haven’t ate in years AND NOT WEIGHING MYSELF. That’s straight up dope right there!! Lol 😂 But also sooo scary.
I’ve felt for so many years the Lord pull me to Health and Wellness Coaching and Holistic things because I’ve been through so much health wise and it’s always fascinated me.
It’s been my passion AND MY STRUGGLE.
Only GOD can turn, a MESS into a MESSAGE, a TEST into a TESTIMONY, a TRIAL into a TRIUMPH, a VICTIM into a VICTORY.
Let me ask you, do you know what your passionate about?
What causes you pain?
What has been your struggle?
Have you been suffering alone?
Let me just say that’s exactly what the enemy wants you to do is isolate yourself and make you feel all alone when in reality there are many others with the same struggles you have. You just need to find someone you can be vulnerable with, that’s why small groups are so important. Gotta get that plug in lol. We are better together!
This is what I can tell you, it may not make sense but what you’ve struggled with, what has caused you agonizing pain, what’s caused you to isolate is more than likely also something your passionate about and I’ll go even further to say that it could even be YOUR CALLING! Of course, only you know that. But very often that’s the case.
For me sometimes the voice of doubt and insecurity is so loud in my ears….Did God really tell you to do this Nicole? People want somebody who has it all together and knows their stuff. That’s what I tell myself but truth in my heart says, I want someone who’s been in the pit themselves and who knows exactly where I’ve been or where I’m at. I’m willing to bet that’s what you want too.
I read something today that so spoke to me because there are so many days as I go through this process that I feel unqualified and I feel like why on earth would someone ever listen to me I’m STILL STRUGGLING and quite honestly it may always be the “throne in my flesh” but I WILL continue on my journey of wholeness and freedom.
This was the devotion blog. “Currently, I’m in a season where anorexia is trying to win again. Let me share some truth with you. What ever battle you’re facing today, whether it’s comparison, doubt, pride, lust, self harm, fill in the blank ____. This does not define you! My eating disorder does not define me. It’s apart of my story and my story is still being written, Your story is still being written!”
This is as real as it gets right here folks. She’s STILL struggling and she’s STILL helping and encouraging people. I LOVE THAT SO MUCH! “It’s part of her story,” just like it’s part of MY STORY AND YOUR STORY. We don’t have to have it all together to help someone we just need to be willing and available.
What I hope and pray people see is the real me, the one who will sit down with you and take the mask off and say “Hey, this is my struggle too and precious friend you’re not alone.” This is me in my brokenness….my passion and my struggles!
I AM A TROPHY OF GRACE AND SO ARE YOU SWEET FRIEND!
God bless you and know that I am praying for you.
Hey y’all!🤗 How’s it going in your neck of the woods? I had my infusion Tuesday so I’ve been resting the last couple of days. It went better than last month praise the Lord!
We are all called to be difference makers but today I want to remind you that God is the DIFFERENCE MAKER in your life!!
God is the GAME CHANGER in your circumstances.
Difference Maker means One who has an impact or effect; One who brings about change. Yep that’d be my God!! He’s The ONE, who makes an impact and bring about change in our lives.
God’s promise is true for you, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone” Ezekiel 36:26
I ALONE AM THE DIFFERENCE MAKER!
Whatever you need in your life Gods got it! You feel lost or broken, cry out to Him….He is near. You’re having trouble in your marriage or with your kids….call on the Difference Maker he’s got it! He knows just how to fix it!
Game Changer means a newly introduced element or factor that changes an existing situation or activity in a significant way
Do you need a Game Changer factor in your life changed in a significant way?
Do you have a work situation?
A family situation?
Alcohol or drug problem?
We all need something.
Gods the Game Changer.
He’s waiting for you to ask Him to come into that situation, that problem and allow Him to do his work. He’s got just the right element to change that situation and completely blow your mind. He wants to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all we could hope, ask or think….
You need to stop looking at what you can’t do or what you don’t have and look at what GOD CAN DO!! God’s presence and power, His Anointing is what pushes you into your destiny! It’s what changes EVERYTHING!
When you hear nothing is ever gonna change, don’t you believe the lies of the enemy! Talk back to the devil! God can use ANY situation for YOUR GOOD!! See your worth and value is based on WHO YOU ARE IN Him and NOTHING ELSE!!! Remember that when that lying spirit is whispering in your ear.
You are NOT to far gone my friend. God WILL use what the enemy meant for harm and turn it to your good if you will let him and He WILL complete what He has started in YOU.
He’s the God of completion.
He’s concerned about what concerns you. My friend, He WILL establish and ground YOU and strengthen YOU!!
He is FOR YOU NOT AGAINST YOU!
He’s the Difference Maker and the Game Changer.
The word fortitude means courage in pain or adversity.
I believe this describes each one of you. “She endured her illness with great fortitude.” You may not see it or even feel like it but you are full of GREATNESS on the inside. There is more to you than just fibromyalgia or any other autoimmune disease. You are beautiful, strong, full of life, courageous, and capable of enduring much.
You are anointed for hard and have much to offer.
I think sometimes we get caught up in our feelings and the things that are going on around us when we need to look past those things, dig deep and press in. Feelings are fickle, always changing, and often not dependable.
You have something in you that needs to work its way out and it’s something that only you possess but someone else is in great need of. Don’t believe that lie that this is the best I’m ever going to be, I’m giving up on my dreams. I’m settling here. NO!! This is temporary and this too shall pass.
If you let it, it will make you stronger and better but if your not careful it will make you bitter.
I say you’re a Warrior destined for greatness, you have been CHOSEN to do great things! But what do you say or believe, that’s what matters. How do you see yourself?
Everyone needs a hero and sometimes that hero is YOU ❤️
Have a great day! Big hugs!
Hey y’all! Hope you guys have had a great week. I haven’t talked about this in a minute but I feel like it’s so important, not only for myself but for those suffering in silence. Some of you know I have struggled with an eating disorder for a good portion of my life, that maybe where you find yourself at today. But I want to offer hope to you, hope that you don’t have to stay in the same place as you are today. You don’t have to have the same struggles or battles, if your willing to allow God in and put the work in…..YOU CAN HAVE FREEDOM. It’s there for the taken!! While I’m still on the road to recovery, I’m getting stronger and more free every day, and you can to my friend.
So I want talk about what helped lead up to me even being willing to get help. I’m using the word willing for an important reason because if I said I was waiting on WHEN I FELT LIKE MAKING CHANGES I’d be waiting for an awfully long time. Because we can feel like every Monday we want to start over and TRY to get things right. But in my experience “WE TRY” “WE FEEL” and it hasn’t served me well.
Feelings are so fickle, they are one way one day and different the next. So waiting on your feeling to be what you want….well that day may never come. But if I make a conscious choice to say Lord I’M WILLING that’s different. I’m not giving my feelings a vote.
Our church has a small group/conference called Freedom and WOW it’s incredible! Well I went through it and right when it was time for conference in last December, I got so sick and I couldn’t go. I was so so upset, discouraged and didn’t understand at all. At the time I couldn’t see what God was doing behind the scenes and let me just say He is such a behind scenes kinda Guy.
So the 1st of January rolls around and 21 Days of Fasting And Prayer starts and prolly half way through God stuck His finger right on IT and said “Nicole now is the time, it’s time to deal with your eating disorder.”
“Excuse me Lord but I don’t have a problem.”
Now mind you I was weighing myself everyday sometimes 2-3 times a day. BUT I DON’T HAVE A PROBLEM. Denial!
I had been abusing diuretics and laxatives for years. I would fast and I could fast like nobody’s business but then I’d binge…..I was struggling with something, I didn’t know it had a name. It’s name was bulimia.
So it was at the moment I realized why I wasn’t able to go to the Freedom conference. God had something more He needed to deal with me on and bring healing to my soul.
Right then and there I went to my medicine cabinet and threw out all my diuretics and laxatives. Now I’d like to say it was easy from that point on and that I didn’t struggle but because my body was use to them and needed them to go to the bathroom. It was like crucifying the flesh…Ugghhh! There’s a healing period which I’m pretty sure I’m still in, I think it will take a while to heal my intestines, body, spirit, and emotions from all that trauma I put myself through.
It’s funny how we always think no one knows our deep dark secrets because we put on our mask every day and act like we gucci. But ya know what….I know…..God knows. And the pain of holding all of it in or keeping up the image will destroy you.
So after much prayer and seeking the Lord on what to do, the first thing I needed to do was to tell my husband. Oh how I dreaded that conversation, to the point it made me physically ill, like wanting to throw up.
So finally I went downstairs and said “Honey I need to talk to you about something and it’s going to be really hard for me to talk about. Of course I’m already crying and can hardly speak. I know the poor man is prolly thinking “Ohhhh I’m in the doghouse, she about to leave me! Or she’s having a affair!”
I could hardly get it out I was crying so hard but once I did you could see the relief on his face that it wasn’t one of the before mentioned items lol. I’m being so vulnerable baring my soul, and he’s relieved I’m not having an affair. Lol😂 We can look for humor in everything.
I told him how I had been struggling and abusing laxatives and diuretics, fasting and binging. He listened and said “Thank you honey for sharing that with me I know that was extremely hard for you. How can I help or what do you want to do?” Well I had already been looking for a counselors, I thought a nutritionist was a good idea as well. So I started there. I also shared with our 3 daughters, what was hidden in the dark had to come out, so it could hold no more power over me. It was a step toward freedom.
I reached out to a nutritionist who I really like but for me I have to say this is such a tricky part of having a eating disorder. They go over all your healthy issues, keeping in mind your eating disorder and then put you on a meal plan. Well for me what I had found is that I already had such a unhealthy relationship with food you telling me I can’t have a Dr. Pepper and I can only eat these things it wasn’t good for me. Because not realizing but all my life I had been putting certain foods in good categories and bad categories and if I ate from the good category I was good but if I ate or drank from the bad category “I was bad” I would heap so much shame and guilt onto myself which kept me spiraling. Not sure if that makes sense or not, so for a while I’ve been working on just my relationship WITH food. I know there are good and bad foods and our bodies NEED the good foods but your mind and heart still need to make that connection without condemnation and shame being in the picture. So if I ate a brownie or drank a Dr. Pepper I wasn’t a bad person like I fell like I was. It’s crazy what our mind can make us think about ourselves.
Having a eating disorder for me while it is obsessing over weight and food, I’ve also learned it goes sooooo much deeper than that. It went back to things from my childhood that led up to that.
I was raised in alcoholism, with that comes so much baggage. Enabling, people pleasing, codependency, fear, manipulation, people trying to control you, you feeling out of control, and not knowing what the day would hold. I think I learned to try not to rock the boat fairly early in life, that was a safe place….so I thought.
I love my mother and father dearly but they divorced before I was 2 and my father remarried and had 3 other daughters. He wasn’t there for me as much as I would have liked him to be or at the time needed him to be. Our relationship then wasn’t as strong as it is today. Thankful God brings restoration.
I lived with my mother who also remarried 4 times and that was very difficult for me in that I didn’t have a stable father figure. Let me say upfront I do not in any way blame her. She worked hard to raise me the best way she knew how and all she wanted was to be loved. She loved the way she knew how and so did my Dad. And can’t we all relate to that? We all want to be loved and accepted, we do what we know….right or wrong. It definitely hindered me in many ways but it also helped shape me into the woman I am today.
I was molested at a young age and back then that wasn’t something you talked about and they also threatened me about telling anyone. So that was yet another deep dark secret that got stuffed deep down.
Your life shapes you for the good or for the bad and at the moment for me it wasn’t good. Things were quickly building for the perfect storm in my life.
At a young age I quickly learned that when I expressed my feelings I got in trouble, or I was told I was wrong for feeling that way. I was also told on several occasions “If you do that you can’t come back home”. I felt rejected and like what I had to say or what I felt wasn’t important. So what did I do, I stuffed my emotions down further and further. That’s what we are doing with our eating disorders or any addiction for that matter.
By the time I had meet my husband and we married I had such low self esteem. I was constantly comparing myself to other women, and of course never measuring up. I literally hated myself. I would tear myself apart. It’s so sad to say these things but even watching TV was a struggle for me. If a beautiful woman came on tv I began comparing myself to her, telling myself how ugly I was. How my husband prolly would rather have her than me. It was AWFUL!!
The devil knows your weaknesses and he will use them against you. He will whisper lies in your ears and if you’re not careful you’ll believe them and they will hold you captive.
It wasn’t until I went to Al-Anon where I started getting help to deal with others in my life who had drinking problems that I was able to get free from some of that and I began loving myself.
I can remember one day texting my sponsor with tears in my eyes from a baton competition and telling her how much fun I was having and how in the past they were so difficult for me because of all the cute young girl running around in their little costumes. I was getting FREE little by little and it felt so good!!
All the things I’ve talked about cause frustration, confusion, distrust, guilt, rejection, fear of failure, shame, people pleasing and so much more. That’s what you begin to think, act, and do.
So fast forward to going to counseling, I felt like God lead me to this specific person. I mean for goodness sakes her name was Hope!
Hope means a confidant expectation of something good.
Hope was exactly what I had been looking for, for my whole life. Not the person although she’s has been such a blessing in my life but the HOPE God gives us in our time of need.
Hope was what I needed to overcome this disorder and other things in my life that have so enslaved me.
Hope for my future.
Hope for freedom.
Hope to have a voice.
Hope to share my feelings and not feel like I’m wrong for having them.
So while I’m still on the road to recovery, I’ll be honest I don’t do the laxatives or diuretics, but on a really bad day or week in my weakness I have turned to fasting and binging sometimes, but not as often as I use too PRAISE GOD!! That’s progress. God is so good and faithful and He will do it for you to precious one.
Today I can say I have HOPE for a better life. A life of freedom. I have good days and bad days but the thing I’m finding so valuable is my VOICE AND MY FEELINGS, whether their good or bad they are mine and it’s ok to have them and express them in a appropriate way. They no longer have to be stuffed!
Learning to not be lead by my feelings but to feel them and know they are real and they are mine and it’s not wrong to have them or express them.
My job is to allow God to bring healing to me, set healthy boundaries, and use my voice when needed and NOT STUFF IT! Stop stuffing things down just because someone may not like it or not want to hear something uncomfortable.
And my goodness stop taken ownership and fixing things that are others responsibilities. I have to stay on my side of the street in order to keep myself in a healthy place.
Precious one you gotta get the Word on inside of you if want to get to the other side of your problem where FREEDOM is. Meditate on it day and night. Pick one, stay on it till it’s deep in you and them move onto the next one.
Psalm 139:14 I will praise You because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, and I know this very well.
Song of Solomon 4:7 My darling, everything about you is beautiful, and there is nothing at all wrong with you.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Don’t you know that your body is a temple that belongs to the Holy Spirit? The Holy Spirit, whom you received from God, lives in you. You don’t belong to yourselves. You were bought for a price. So bring glory to God in the way you use your body.
Zephaniah 3:17 For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.
You are loved my friend! We all have our issues whether it’s an eating disorder or some other kind of addiction God wants you to turn to Him and let Him help you. He will take what the enemy meant to harm and destroy and use for your good. But it’s up to you to let Him. He calls you holy, righteous, beautiful, and His Trophy of Grace
Love and hugs,
Please click the link below and enjoy the song You’ll Come by Hillsong
I did something I wasn’t proud of not to long ago, but what got me was how quickly shame, guilt and condemnation came rushing in. I don’t know about you but when when I do something I’m not proud of or something happens I’m not happy about, I can replay it over and over and over, and even get stuck there for days, weeks or months. Think about it, talk about it, think about it, talk about it. But this time was different. See God’s grace is a gift to each of us if we choose to receive it, it’s His free, unmerited favor for you and me.
Receive means to be given or presented with, or paid something. But what I also noticed was the synonyms of the word “receive” is to award and redeem and I love that! So for me I knew that day was going to be different. I was going choose to receive God’s grace, to be awarded and redeemed from what I had done. I didn’t have to dwell there for weeks or months all I had to do was say God forgive me and literally it was wiped clean in an instant and I didn’t wallow in the I guilt, shame and condemnation. It was like it was erased from my mind and normally I would have reminded myself of what I did, how I failed, and replayed it over and over. “See Nicole you haven’t changed at all, you’re no good, God doesn’t love you.” But those are lies straight from the pit of hell!
The faithful love of the Lord never ends. His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness, his mercies are new every morning.
So my challenge to you is wherever you find yourself today, if you’re in that pit I found myself in that day you don’t have to stay there. You can choose grace today! You can choose to be redeemed from whatever it was you did or was done to you. Great is His faithfulness and His mercies are new every morning. So choose grace today and walk in it my friend.
Remember YOU are a trophy of God’s grace and He loves you with an everlasting love and NOTHING you can do will ever change that or separate you from His love.
It’s time for repositioning yourself. Let go of the things that you have held on to for so long. The things from your past that keep haunting you and holding you in bondage. Maybe someone spoke horrible things over you like”You are no good” “You’ll never amount to anything” “You’re ugly” and maybe worse. Then you believed it and came into agreement with it, well those are LIES FROM THE ENEMY straight from the pit of hell!!!!
Let me just say YOU are chosen, beautiful, holy, righteous, victorious, justified, redeemed, set free, a new creature IN Christ, FORGIVEN…..I can go on.
When our lives get turned upside down, God is still there, he’s with you. Have you found yourself thinking God, I wasn’t expecting that or I was expecting this and something else happened? I sure have. But sometimes, the very thing that is so bad, the thing that is so painful, the things we think that is coming against us is really what we need and it’s going to work out for us if we let it. But it’s up to us, letting go, and letting God have his way in us.
Releasing old ways of things or thinking and trusting God. It’s not always comfortable and it’s not always easy but embracing the new and allowing God to do what He needs to do to get you where you need to be will be worth it all.
What are you holding onto today? Is there something you need to let go of and let God in so you can make room for what God wants to do in your life? God only wants his very best for you precious one, don’t settle. Whatever you need, He has it and him alone can only truly satisfy. Jesus I need you more❤️🙌🏻
Click the link below to enjoy the song: First and Only- By Elevation Worship
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” I love that verse and yet it’s one I have struggled with in some areas of my life. It’s like Lord I trust you with this and this but not this and yet I think that’s what he’s asking “Will you trust Me with that thing you’ve held onto for years? That thing you’ve tried to change for so long and nothing changes. That thing you think is hopeless, with Me nothing is impossible! That thing you think I can’t do anything with. Yep THAT’S the thing I want, that’s what I’m asking for precious one, give it to Me, trust Me with it. I can turn it around. I will give you beauty for ashes. I can breathe Life into it. I am bigger than any circumstance or problem you encounter. Don’t continue to believe the whispers of the enemy he is not for, he is against you. He seeks to destroy you. I came that you may have abundant life and I will work all things out for your good. You may not understand it all but I do, I see the beginning from the end. Trust Me, I am with you always! I love you and have plans for you, let Me guide you sweet one💗
I am so excited to be on this health journey with you. It has been one of ups and downs for me healthwise but WOW have I learned A LOT and grown!! Healthy living is more than just what you weigh, I think it’s a combination of things. But in today’s society its focused on what we look like and what we weigh, just watch tv for a bit and you’ll see and if your not secure in who you are in Christ you might even feel bad abt yourself or feel not good enough. If you are getting your validation by the world, what you see in the mirror or what you have or don’t have, I can promise you, you will continue to be broken and unfulfilled. Only God can truly heal you and give you meaning and LIFE ABUNDANT. While growing up I had a very misguided view of how I should look and be which carried over into adulthood. I was EXTREMELY INSECURE! I was always small growing up and then when I began having children, I also started having health issues, and so began my journey. This was really difficult becus at the time I was getting my worth in what I looked like and it didn’t match what I saw or had in mind. It truly had gotten so bad (and this is embarrassing to say but unfortunately true) that would avoid going to certain places and I couldn’t even watch tv without comparing myself to what I saw. I began to hate myself, I felt as if I never measured up. I seriously would have to leave the room because I would get angry and cry…..NOW THATS SAD! I don’t know if anyone can relate to that or not but that’s just how bad I felt abt myself. But I learned that God loves me and created you and me and He didn’t make a mistake or any junk. He calls you (me) beautiful, chosen and holy. You have purpose!! And it’s more than what you see in the mirror or what you weigh. A healthy life IS eating good and exercising, our body is the temple and must be taken care of but a healthy life is also renewing our mind and getting in agreement with God’s word. It’s amazing to me at my SMALLEST I hated myself and I was soooo unhappy. Today I’m not where I wanna be but I’m happy, joyful and enjoying the journey. Might sound funny but I like myself and I don’t hate myself anymore, that’s HUGE! That’s God!! What a mighty work He has done and doing in me and He can do the same thing in you. We just have to be open and willing to let Him in the dark places and bring healing everywhere we hurt. That feeling you get when you walk into a room and don’t feel good enough, LIES LIES LIES from the enemy!! You ARE special, you are unique, there is only one YOU and YOU have a purpose and destiny that ONLY YOU can fill. Precious one, you are worth far more than rubies!! You are God’s masterpiece and today is the day for NEW BEGINNINGS!!!
Isaiah 43:18-19New Living Translation (NLT)
18 “But forget all that—
it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.
19 For I am about to do something new.
See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.