Hey y’all! Hope you are doing well. At the new year, we are bombarded by all the messages New Year, New You! It’s time to get in shape, lose weight, exercise more. Perfect the outside of you. But the Word says, “….For the LORD sees not as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
It’s so tempting to fall into this. But what if you started this year just as you are…..In Christ?
Be thankful that God made you or be in awe of all the things He’s done for you.
What if we chose to be grateful for where God has placed us? Instead of always striving to be somewhere different.
Sweet friend, YOU were purchased by the blood of Jesus, and He can turn your darkness into light.
See His mercies are new every day…..every single day, not just the first of the year.
Instead of working on changing our outward appearance let’s work on coming in alignment with what God says you are. It’s the principle of agreement.
I AM A CHILD OF GOD
I AM BEAUTIFUL
I AN BRAVE
I AM STRONG
I HAVE A FUTURE OF HOPE
I AN FORGIVEN
I AN NEVER ALONE
I AN LOVED
I AN FREE
Speaking God’s promises becomes SOOO powerful when we also function in His law of agreement. It’s God’s plan!
When you come into agreement with what God has for your life you are saying saying YES & AMEN!
So this year, I am not trying to become a new person, I’m trying to come in agreement with what God has for my life.
If I’m trying to live better and healthier that means I’m trying to come in to alignment with what God says about me…..And He says my body is good today!
Your body is good friend!
New Year, New Me….NOPE! I just want to grow into more of what God has made me to be, NOT a new person. If you are IN CHRIST, you’ve already been made new…..walk in that!
Hope you have a blessed and wonderful weekend!
I say yes to what You’ve promised Amen to the word You’ve spoken￼￼ I say yes to what I can’t imagine I say yes Lord I say yes
I say yes to what You’ve promised Amen to the word You’ve spoken I say yes to what I can’t imagine I say yes Lord I say yes
If you are struggling with body image issues, sweet friend you are believing lies. Please hear me when I say God designed you beautifully and perfect just the way you are. He didn’t create us to hate ourselves. I’ve been there, I know what it’s like. No amount of weight loss will make you happy. At my smallest I hated myself more than you could know. I was stuck in an eating disorder, past trauma, and shame and guilt. I was believing the lies the enemy was whispering to me. I bought it hook, line, and sinker, maybe you have too?
The enemy wants to steal, kill, and destroy us. He wants to steal your joy and peace and often uses our insecurities to do it.
Sometimes the lies we believe are loud and other times they are very subtle. But they can become so deeply rooted in us and we not even realize it.
Society/diet culture has sold us the BIGGEST lie…..If we look a certain way or weigh a certain amount you will be happy and your life will be better. That’s a lie straight from the pit of hell.
Your happiness has nothing to do with your looks or weight sweet friend. Don’t buy into that. You are more than a number and more than how you look. You have sooo much more to offer than an image. God has given you gifts and talents that only you have. He has an awesome plan for you but if we are stuck believing the lies the enemy is speaking then we cannot fulfill our purpose.
Let’s kick the devil in his teeth by doing the work to overcome the lies he’s tried to distract us with.
👊TRUTH…..YOUR TRUTH is YOU are unique, wonderfully made, and there’s no one else like you.
👊He knew you before he created you, knew the mistakes you would make and STILL chose to create you ON PURPOSE..FOR A PURPOSE.
👊You are saved and completely made whole IN HIM.
👊You are forgiven and redeemed.
👊You are called and you are free!
👊You are victorious, accepted, and healed.
👊And so much more.
When the enemy comes at you telling you lies, “you are not enough” you come back at him with I AM MORE THAN ENOUGH because God calls me daughter of the King. I am here for a purpose with gifts and talents someone else needs. I WILL rise up from the ashes and be ALL that God has called me to be! Devil you are under my feet and defeated and I WON’T believe your lies anymore. Amen!! Speak truth and scripture over your life and walk in Gods plan for your life and family, in Jesus name, Amen!🙏🙌
How are my favorite Trophy of Grace friends? It’s been a minute since I’ve posted. This has been such a difficult season I’ve been in. I’m sure you’ve been there at some point. Coming in, middle, or going out of it.
Regardless, Jesus You are worthy of my song. You are worthy of my praise.
I will forever remember 2020, it is scorched in my heart and mind. October 31st 2019 was my first appointment with my nutritionist. She specialized in eating disorders. I told her upfront I didn’t want this to be about losing weight, I wanted us to get to the root of why I was doing what I was doing and why I felt the way I did. So often we focus on the actions we are taking or not taking and we want to change but using another set of rules to gain freedom and love for ourselves and others. But my friend, there is something driving it, there’s a root cause to what’s going on in our lives.
For me, I discovered that past traumas and pain drove my eating disorder and body image issues. Which reflects in all areas of your life.
When the pandemic started I was 4-5 months into this healing journey I’m on. I can’t explain it but I started to flourish when others like me where falling deeper into there disorder because of Covid, loss, and isolation. I was gaining more and more freedom. But there always comes a point on the road to freedom, it gets REALLY HARD. It’s in the REALLY HARD place, we have a decision to make. We can suffer the pain of change or the pain of staying the same. Suffering is inevitable, but you get to choose whether you get to the other side of it or you can stay in the darkness, the sadness, and the brokenness. Friend it’s so important to choose well here. I’m even gonna give you the answer……KEEP PRESSING IN! Keep pressing on, never give up!! Feel the pain, let God do a perfect work in you.
There is blessing in the breaking.
Blessing and pain you’re gonna feel it, it might as well be going through….you are worthy sweet friend. You are worthy because Jesus says you are.
I had so many life challenges and changes in 2020, it would prove to be a difficult season but so enlightening to me and life changing.
I’ve always had passion to help others, loved all things health related. I started Holistic Health and Wellness coaching school and honestly with my dad moving here, and other issues with my Mom, and my life drastically changing because of Covid it was so overwhelming. Drs telling me to stay home and stay safe🙄 I went from seeing friends and church, leading small groups in my home, and being on the go to just nothing and it was sooooo hard and lonely. It was too overwhelming to finish school, which then heaped on lots of shame and guilt. As if I didn’t have enough of that. I still kept working with my nutritionist and learning and growing. Not realizing God still had a plan for me. It was a season of pain but GROWTH AND WISDOM. I was learning to listen to my body intuitively. One day I was listening to an ED podcast they started talking about Intuitive Eating, what is this they are talking about??? Sounds interesting. Sounds familiar. Examples they were giving were things I was doing and working on. Next session I talked to Amie and I asked about Intuitive Eating and she says that’s what you’ve been doing, LOL. My goodness, what I was working on had a name. Which of course I must know more so I dive deeper in my journey.
I started back to school this year, despite hearing the voices of ‘your not good enough’ or ‘You have nothing to offer’ or God can’t use you, you’re too broken. My biggest takeaway from 2020 till now is God has a plan whether we see it or not. He created you for great things. His plans for you are to prosper and not harm you. It may be a fight but sweet friend it’s worth it. Despite how I felt about giving up school in 2020 God knew what I didn’t know. He still had more to teach me. If I had finished it in 2020 oh my goodness my coaching would look soooo different than it will once I’m done this time. I would’ve coached focusing on food rules, good and bad foods, foods to avoid, reaching the perfect weight, orthorexia basically, etc.
Today I’ve learned there are no good or bad foods, my body isn’t a project to be improved and constantly be rejecting and trying to make it fit into what the world deems good! My body IS GOOD regardless of what the world says. Today I want to help women with intuitive eating and body image issues and find freedom.
YOUR BODY IS GOOD.
YOUR BODY IS GOOD, TODAY! Not when you’ve reached a certain weight or size. JUST AS YOU ARE SWEET FRIEND!!
My mom was always on diet, so of course I fell into that. But we come in all shapes, color and sizes. Your size, shape, weight, hair color, skin color, eye color, boobie size🙈🤣🤷🏼♀️ is NOT and I repeat it does not dictate your worth and value. In a culture that objectifies women and if you don’t fall into a certain category you are deemed not worthy.
YOU are worthy!
If I don’t weigh a certain number then I’m not good enough. We let Hollywood and the world’s culture tell us to be a certain weight and we will accept you. I bought into that crap for waaaayyyy too long.
Can I just remind you of how great your Fathers love is for you and how He created you for purpose. He don’t make NO JUNK! (In my best southern accent😜)
There I said it…..YOU are not junk to be thrown aside because you don’t fit in a certain category. We are all different….since when is being different bad?? God made us all different because we all have gifts and talents we each need.
You weren’t meant to fit in a box! You were meant to flourish in your skin, not be a clone of someone “society” thinks is perfect.
NO!!! YOU were perfectly created by a perfect Creator.
I’m so thankful for 2020 and the lessons it’s taught me about God and myself. I’m thankful that He is teaching about having a healthy relationship with food and trusting Holy Spirit to led me. I’m thankful I can listen and hear from my body, more importantly I can trust it. I’m thankful I don’t have to weigh myself every day, I still may not like the number on the scale but I’m learning to love myself more. The real me. Enjoying a cookie or a Bundt cake without feeling shame and guilt is just bonus. Food was meant to nourish us but also for our enjoyment and pleasure.
I’ve rejected God’s creation…..myself….for far to long. I have made my mind up to trust the One who created me and loves me…..and you…unconditional with an everlasting love.
The pain and suffering has a place and a purpose, it was not meant to take you out. Yes it can if we let it, but you keep giving Him your worship. You keep pressing into the One who changes all things and works them out for your good. When that voice is soooo loud in your ear saying quite, give up, it’s too much, it may even tell you the world is better off without you so I might as well end it. Friend I’ve been there, but hear me tell you that YOU are loved, the pain does get better, trust in the One who heals. Do the hard things and press….press….and keep on pressing through the pain. Preach to yourself. Get up on the inside.
Praise proceeds the victory!! Hallelujah!🙏🙌
There’s blessing in the breaking and YOU ARE GONNA MAKE IT. You are anointed for hard things.
God bless you and I hope you have a blessed and wonderful week! You are a trophy of grace!
I was in a department store the other day trying on clothes and right across from me was this mom and daughter doing the same thing. It was very disturbing to me listening to this conversation. The little girl says something like “I don’t like these and something about her hips are big.” Me working through my own body image issues my ears perked up. And course mom steps in and says with a loud and forceful, “No! you don’t have big hips! And,compared to who?” Obviously trying to figure out why her young daughter thinks she has big hips. The daughter names someone. Then the mom precedes to almost yell in the dressing room “You DO NOT HAVE BIG HIPS!! Which I can understand 100% But then she takes it to another level. “I’VE SEEN THE GIRLS IN YOUR CLASS” and then starts naming several names. Then takes it EVEN further saying well so and so had to have a large in something and you only had to have a small. So NO! YOU DO NOT HAVE BIG HIPS!
Are we really checking our daughters friends sizes??????
I understand being upset but it just broke my heart this little girl had to hear and see this being said about her friends and or people she knows.
This rant went on for at least 10 minutes, she belittling and demeaning other girls. Each comment penetrating deeper into this littler girls heart and mind. Realizing what truly mattered to her mom. Mind blowing if you ask me.
I’m sorry but this isn’t the way to build up your daughter. Your teaching her to compare herself even more with each comment and comparison you make.
Girls already struggle with comparison and then you are comparing her to other girls yourself.
I actually felt sick standing in that dressing room listening to that mother comparing her daughter and demeaning all these other “little” girls. I just wanted to hug that little girl and tell her she was perfect just the way she is and that God loved her whether she has little hips, big hips, popular, unpopular, underweight, overweight, black, white, brown, etc.
Comparison is the thief of all joy. When we travel down this road of comparison that I sadly know all to well, it helps make things from the enemy easier to enter in. Things like disordered eating, lifelong roller coaster ride of dieting, self hating, self harm, body image issues, insecurity, etc. The list can go on and on and it can keep you in bondage like you can’t even imagine.
The enemy does a good enough job on his own convincing us we’re not good enough. He attacks our appearance, our weight, our work, our families….but what’s even more interesting is he can use the people in our lives too. People that love us and mean well.
Lord, I pray for these younger girls today to learn who they are in Christ and just how loved and treasured they are….not because of what they look like or what size they are but because God created them specifically….on purpose….and perfectly. Lord release them from the trap of comparison. Release them from the mirror and what they see or don’t like. Release them from the scale and the number they see or don’t see. Help them to not be enslaved to what the world calls beautiful but what You say Lord. Engrave on their heart Your everlasting love, and Your mighty plans and purposes for them in Jesus name Amen! 🙏
Hey y’all!🤗 I want to help give some of you ladies some freedom! I don’t know about you but weighing myself is my least favorite thing and it was something I use to obsess over. I am no longer a slave to the scale, PRAISE GOD! But you know what bothers that crap out of me is every time you go to the doctor you have to weigh. For me that’s often unfortunately, lol.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard ladies saying they didn’t want to weigh, can we just guesstimate, lol. But being forced to do it anyways because that’s what we’ve been told to do for our whole life. How many were filled shame and guilt after they got off scale? How many said to themselves, I’ve got to go on diet? Or I need to exercise more. But then fail. Heaping more shame and guilt.
My nutritionist passed on the best tip that I had no idea about and I bet you don’t either. Did your know you can decline weighing? Yep! You sure can. It’s true, unless what your being seen about actually requires knowing your weight otherwise you don’t have to weigh.
I have found so much freedom in this. You will get resistance but if this is something that is causing you anxiety or is triggering, you go for it! I’ll be happy to share a certain form with you that you can take with you. It’s actually quite empowering!
The first time I did it was rather horrifying lol and it wasn’t a good experience BUT my health, my choice. Me coming to your office for asthma and bronchitis has nothing to do with my weight🙄 I quietly told the nurse I was declining to weight, at first she laughed and I said ‘No I’m not joking, I’m declining to weigh today’ and she just wasn’t having it. She was rude and I was angry at her. I tried explaining to her I was working at overcoming my eating disorder and I didn’t want to weigh and that’s my right, that it had nothing to do with my visit today. She comes back with ‘insurance requires it!’ I said ‘no it doesn’t I’ve talked to them.’ Then it was ‘Well, the hospital requires it and we will not see you unless your get weighed!’ Are you kidding me right now?!?! You rude, lying, bitter woman lol! I was fuming on the inside. You are clearly misguided and misinformed. So I weighed that day but when my dr walked in I sure enough said something to her. I informed her how rude her nurse was and how me being weighed had ZERO to do with my appointment. She agreed and she had heard of this and would follow up about the situation and put it in my chart. I thanked her for her understanding.
But you know old me wouldn’t have declined in the first place and then if I did and had gotten resistance, I would have just let it go and not said a word!
But not today!!
Use your voice!📣
I guess what sparked me sharing this today is I had another lovely encounter with a misguided nurse. But this time I had more confidence and I politely didn’t back down. Everything was fine after we got past that.
You are your best advocate and you know what triggers you. You do you friend! Don’t be conformed to the world, be ye transformed….the world has set standards that don’t have to be YOUR standards, especially when they involve body image, weight, and what’s healthy for YOU!💗🙌💯🔥
I had to go to the dermatologist today for my yearly skin cancer check. He found only one, took care of it and sent it off so we wait for results. Pray it’s basal cell like the others I’ve had. Any who, as I was updating my paperwork half of it was, did I want information on these particular services…..Cool Sculpting, Botox, fillers, laser, etc. that was all before I got back to the room. Ridiculous! When I got in the room there was an area of cosmetic pamphlets for all the services you can choose to “make yourself better” more acceptable. Listen, I’m not saying there isn’t a place for this but I’m saying that society and media is constantly telling us as women “If you use this product or do this procedure you’ll be more beautiful and happy!” This is a multi bazillion dollar industry preying on women and our insecurities. You could have the most perfect body or face and they will still try and offer these services to “improve” what you have. Still implies there’s something wrong with you. Let me just say God don’t make no junk.
It’s a money making industry!!!
So who has determined that your thighs are too skinny or too fat?
Who has determined that your waist is too thin or wide?
Let’s be real, most of what you see on tv, magazines, social media has all been airbrushed, filtered, or blurred in some way to make it look better. I mean we are all guilty of it. Me: Can you hold the camera up higher? Angle it this way🤣🙈 How long does it take to decide on a picture you will post? Or how many times do you retake a picture? I’m preaching to myself, I do the same thing. I’m just saying we all try and present the best image of ourselves or what we want people to see.
Look at all the phot editing apps. Did your know your can actually stretch your body to make you look taller and thinner? What??? You can blurr out some cellulite….OK now that might be nice LOL. I had no idea but these apps do some crazy stuff. I know a woman I’m pretty sure she does all her photos with an app. She smooths out all her wrinkles to the point it doesn’t even look like her, maybe 20 years younger her. What’s crazy is she’s a beautiful lady. Who told her she needed to do that? To get Likes and comments to build her self esteem? Idk, but obviously she feels the need to look like a “better” versioned herself. Do you feel that same pressure from society or media? I’m sure we’ve all felt that.
But what if I told you, you could be ok in your own skin?!?!? Yea, yea, yea I know, I struggle with that too. Like really struggle. Would you believe me? I’m working hard on this area. I have literally cursed my body and hated it for as long as I can remember when it was thin or fat. It didn’t matter. I never felt enough. Why? I believed lies from the enemy. Things that were spoken over me. But also because I was always comparing myself to what society says is beautiful and acceptable. Also, past hurts, comments, relationships, or traumas can cause this as well. Only you know what played a role in yours.
What about what God says is beautiful and acceptable?
For we are God’s masterpiece. Ephesians 2:10
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:14
You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you. Sol 4:7
He hath made us accepted in the beloved.”— Ephesians 1:6
My nutritionist is the best, between her and my counselor they challenge me to do the work to truly be a better me, not necessarily in my looks but inside beauty. Inside beauty radiates to outside beauty.
So my nutritionist has been working on me with doing mirror work. Can I just say YUCK!! No one wants to do that. Most of you know I’ve struggled with an eating disorder, well with that comes body image issues. I’ve made a commitment to myself and God to do the hard work.
I’m ALL IN!
So I had to make a list of neutral statements of different body parts and then look in the mirror and say them to myself. Examples; hands, legs, eyes, feet, arms, butt, stomach, etc. Some are harder than others. When you’ve hated your body and been disgusted with it this is the LAST thing you want to do. But I’M ALL IN! So I do it off and on till the other day when I’m reminded that Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” Hebrews 4:13
See spiritually, we are naked before the Lord but this day I was to be “naked naked” before myself and my mirror. Really Lord??? You have got to be kidding me, my dude?!? 🤣 Nope….disrobe and let’s do this!!
I’m ALL IN so here I go LOL.
So I have mirror time, but NAKED MIRROR TIME! 😱🙈 Oh, the horror right?!?! I didn’t plan it but it just happened. I was just going to do the neutral statements but God had other plans. My friend, lots of tears were shed but I was following Gods leading.
I spoke the neutral words over every part.
I spoke nurturing words over every part.
And then I spoke a blessing over my body.
THAT I have never done. I’ve been too busy hating it and hating how it looks. When I should’ve been blessing it and being thankful for what it does. This is real life y’all, this is total transparency…..I told myself how sorry I was for how I’ve treated my body, how I hated it and cursed it and asked for forgiveness. It was difficult and beautiful all at the same time. Do you find yourself here? Well, if you’re do you are not alone.
Mirror time is getting better. Something broke off me that day. Do I still struggle, yes, of course, but I’m gonna keep doing it and eventually those feelings will catch up to what the Word of God says about me.
Do you play the comparison game? Boy, I have. What happens to us when we compare ourselves to what the world says is beautiful and acceptable? I’ll be happy to tell you…..we don’t measure up and you never will. You’ll never be happy. You’ll always be looking for the next thing to fulfill you, diet, lotion, procedure, exercise, etc. When we feel like we don’t measure up shame and guilt rush in and set up camp. Our lives become like little hamsters on the wheel, constantly spinning but never getting anywhere. Trying, failing, shame, guilt, repeat.
We make decisions in our lives based on how we look and how we think people perceive us. We don’t go to the party because we don’t feel pretty enough or have the right outfit. Or I can’t wear shorts again because my legs are ugly. How about, I can’t go swimming again because I’d have to put a bathing suit then others would see my thunder thighs or cellulite. Come on, where my sisters at??? I know there’s a bunch of y’all out there feeling this.
How many things have your missed out on because you felt less than or not good enough? I know I’ve missed out on waaaay to much. I challenge myself now to not do that, to explore the why, explore those feelings.
I’m ALL IN!
How about you?
So today, I’m learning how to nurture and love my body. I’m more than a body and so are you! Loving your body isn’t thinking your body looks good. It is knowing your body “IS” good regardless of how it looks. Now that right there is POWERFUL!
In a world full of body shaming, fat shaming, skinny shaming, messages coming at you left and right that something is not quit right about you. If you do this or that….buy this or that you’ll be a better you and you’ll finally be happy and accepted. I’ll leave you with this, love and appreciate your body for what it does. Your Body is Powerful. Use it as an Instrument, Not an Ornament. You are beautiful just the way you are flaws and all. You are Gods chosen instrument. You are good because God is good and you are made in His image.
The kind of fasting I want is this: Remove the chains of oppression and the yoke of injustice, and let the oppressed go free. Share your food with the hungry and open your homes to the homeless poor. Give clothes to those who have nothing to wear, and do not refuse to help your own relatives. Then my favor will shine on you like the morning sun, and your wounds will be quickly healed. I will always be with you to save you; my presence will protect you on every side. Isaiah 58:6-8
I’ve learned so much as I walk out and get free from ED (eating disorder) 21 days of fasting and prayer have always been one of my favorite times of the year but also a time that caused me great pain and confusion. Over the last year though I’ve learned why.
Fasting can be very triggering for someone who suffers from an eating disorder.
This one word….Fasting….can cause my world to fall apart completely.
We study the life of Christ and his spiritual disciplines and we learn how important fasting and prayer are and how they can break the chains that bind us.
Prayer changes everything.
However, when one has an eating disorder fasting can destroy any and all progress you have made.
Restricting is NEVER GOOD under any circumstances.
Restricting TRIGGERS even done under the best of intentions.
Most people that do 21 days of prayer in January they might do the Daniel Fast, food altogether, sugar, 1- 2 meals a day, etc. But in my brain, that simple suggestion to skip or restrict a meal can flip a switch that cannot be easily turned off and send me spiraling.
I can remember over the years when I started realizing I was struggling in this area I just didn’t know why or how or what to do to help myself. 21 days of prayer and fasting would roll around and I decide to do Daniel fast and fail miserable. Enter shame and guilt.
Then I’d decided to fast sugar, same thing, I’d fail miserably. Enter more shame and guilt. I’d ask myself time and time again “Why can’t I do this?”
I know people mean well but there are some people that will shame you for not fasting what they’re fasting. That happened to me countless times. Let me just say I don’t need someone else heaping more shame and guilt on me I’ve done enough of that myself. You should NEVER shame anyone for doing something differently or not doing something you are doing because you have no idea what they are going through.
I read somewhere, “In many cases, asking a recovering eating disordered individual to fast for a single meal would be like inviting a recovering alcoholic to drink a beer: It is absolutely disastrous.” Let me just say it’s VERY TRUE!
I’m so thankful in so many ways for 2020. I believe I’ve grown more in my eating disorder which is mind blowing because during a pandemic eating disorders as well as other addictions and disorders were skyrocketing. Not to say, I didn’t have my challenges but I praise God He was moving and working in me and through me to gain more freedom instead of losing freedom.
So as we start this season of 21 Days of Fasting and Prayer, FOOD IS NOT AN OPTION FOR ME and even though it’s taken me a really long time to believe this….It’s ok!
I know we are called to Fast and Pray it’s all over the Bible. It was through 21 days of Fasting and Prayer when God finally said “Nicole, now is the time to deal with this secret problem you have.” He told me to throw out my diuretics and laxatives that I had been abusing for sooooo many years and I was set free right there! Haven’t touched another laxative or diuretic since. So I KNOW fasting and prayer work. It’s just mine and maybe yours needs to look differently and ITS OK.
We have to protect our own recovery. I have worked soooo incredibly hard to get to where I’m at and I have such a long way to go but you best believe I’m protective of myself.
Fasting is simply laying aside SELF. Who couldn’t benefit from that, right?
Fasting is clearing out the clutter that we’ve let in and allowing God in those places. I’m sure there are many areas we can come up with to give up or Fast from that don’t involve food.
Fasting is about growing closer to God.
More of Him and less of me.
Fasting is NOT a diet and some people use it to lose weight at the beginning of the year but don’t work on the drawing closer to Him part.
Ideas of things you can FAST:
Online Shopping 😱🙈 my hubby would prolly like me to do this one LOL😜
Negative Self Talk
Don’t Eat Out
There’s so many things you could Fast instead of food. It’s not about what your giving up it’s that you are dying to self so that Christ can be glorified through us.
Maybe, just maybe, me walking in my recovery, following my meal plan for someone with ED….maybe MY FAST. See now I’m learning self care and how to nourish myself….that’s a sacrifice and takes a lot of time and prayer.
So yes, I’m excited about 21 Days of Fasting and Prayer! But I WILL NOT be fasting food in any way. My ED recovery is to precious to me and I’ve come to far for that. I look forward to seeing what our Mighty God will do during this season.
I’m believing and expecting great things for you and for me. God bless you and I hope you have a wonderful week!
I still believe You’re moving. I still believe You’re speaking God, I believe You’re working All things for good. I fix my eyes on Heaven God, I receive Your vision God, I believe You’re working All things for good. We sing come alive in the name of Jesus. Come alive in the name of Jesus. This is a house of miracles. We bring everything to the feet of Jesus. Everything in the name of Jesus. This is a house of miracles💗🙏🙌💯⚓️
Hey y’all !! What’s up? What’s up? I haven’t been here in a while, lots going on in our neck of the woods. How about y’all?
My hubby is STILL working from home y’all! Prolly no plans to go back in the office till the first of the year.
My Daddy is in the process of moving here so we are trying to find him a place and get him settled.
Had some close family members with some serious health and my grandmother past away about a month or so ago. No one was able to be with her and she died all alone and I think that just made it more difficult. There are some other things but I can’t share them. Just a difficult season here, which I know it is for many of you.
Had a lot on my mind as we’ve being going through all these different things. Add in my health issues and school, no alone time, being stuck at home 🤪 and the Rona I’ve found myself frozen at times, maybe you can relate to that.
Some of you know I’ve been in school to become a Holistic Health and Wellness practitioner which I’m so excited about this journey the Lord has had me on. It’s just taken me a little longer than I thought it would but it’s ok Imma get there. It’s ALL in Gods timing.
Extending grace to myself is so much harder than it is to do for someone else. I’ve had a lot going on around me and IN me. Some of you know I’ve struggled with ED…….eating disorder. Sometimes ED screams so loud and other days I feel victorious and it’s so quite. I’m in counseling with a nutritionist who is awesome but imma just say it’s hard work and it’s an every day battle.
A battle to NOT weigh myself everyday.
A battle to eat lunch or not eat lunch.
A battle to not restrict food.
A battle to not eat a bunch of cookies or a big cup of Cheeseballs.
It’s just a battle.
I know the battle belongs to the Lord but sometimes we’ve done things for so long they become ingrained in us and they become a habit and it is a process of overcoming.
So where am I at today? And this sooooo soooo important to recall these things.
I’m not where I wanna be but I’m not where I use to be either.
Well….I’m no longer abusing laxatives or diuretics. I haven’t done that in 2 years or more. That’s a big ole W!!! 🎉
There were days I would wake up and decide I’m not going to eat today and I wouldn’t. Now I’ve come to realize that restricting food was a form of punishment to myself. I can tell you that thought hasn’t crossed my mind in months, PRAISE THE LORD!! 🙏🙌🎉
I’m not weighing myself everyday. Y’all literally don’t even know what an amazing accomplishment this is. I would weigh myself everyday, sometimes 2-3 times a day. In order to do this though I had to remove the scale from the bathroom and outta my sight. The first week was so hard I almost got up in the middle of the night to weigh myself, I know it sounds crazy. But that’s ED for ya! I did really well for about 2 or 3 months and not even sure what happened but I decided to go to it’s deep dark hiding place and pulled that evil scale out and stepped on it. THAT WAS A BAD MISTAKE FOR ME! It set me over the top because I had actually gained a little weight. I got in all kinds of fear and old patterns started showing up. Imma do this, Imma do that. I’m not gonna eat this or that. Imma exercise for X amount. That’s ED behavior and it’s what I’m trying to overcome.
But here’s the thing, I’m finally allowing my body and metabolism to heal from all the dieting and self destructive behavior I’ve done to my body so that’s going to happen before it gets better. You can’t put your body through hell for years and years and expect it to perform a peak condition in just a few months. NO it took me a lifetime to get here. It’s a healing process kinda like how our hearts have to heal after being broken. I could just choose something quick and fast because so often quick and fast works, we see results but its temporary and we find ourselves right back in the same place 6 months or 2 years from now at least that’s been my experience. At this place in my life I’m choosing healing and finally getting to the root and freedom even if it takes me a lifetime.
So my whole purpose when the Lord lead me to my counselor, Hope who lead me to the nutritionist, Amie. I said to her I don’t want to lose weight…..well I mean the flesh part of me does but the inner man of me wants freedom and healing and to finally have a healthy relationship with food AND the scale AND love my body AND not curse it.
Far to long I’ve gained my worth and value over what I saw in the mirror and what number I saw on the scale. You may not be able to relate to that particularly. For you it might be how your house looks, the clothes your wear, your job or title, car you drive, your kids, neighborhood you live in, etc. At some point most of us at have tried to find our value in other things. I’m hear to tell you it will LEAVE YOU EMPTY and searching for more my friend!!
Only Jesus can feel that hole that we try so desperately to fill with other things.
Another BIG W 🎉 is I’m eating lunch almost every single day. I haven’t done that in yeeeaaaarrrssss y’all! That’s incredible! But let me tell you how scary that is. To add in eating lunch….a meal I haven’t ate in years AND NOT WEIGHING MYSELF. That’s straight up dope right there!! Lol 😂 But also sooo scary.
I’ve felt for so many years the Lord pull me to Health and Wellness Coaching and Holistic things because I’ve been through so much health wise and it’s always fascinated me.
It’s been my passion AND MY STRUGGLE.
Only GOD can turn, a MESS into a MESSAGE, a TEST into a TESTIMONY, a TRIAL into a TRIUMPH, a VICTIM into a VICTORY.
Let me ask you, do you know what your passionate about?
What causes you pain?
What has been your struggle?
Have you been suffering alone?
Let me just say that’s exactly what the enemy wants you to do is isolate yourself and make you feel all alone when in reality there are many others with the same struggles you have. You just need to find someone you can be vulnerable with, that’s why small groups are so important. Gotta get that plug in lol. We are better together!
This is what I can tell you, it may not make sense but what you’ve struggled with, what has caused you agonizing pain, what’s caused you to isolate is more than likely also something your passionate about and I’ll go even further to say that it could even be YOUR CALLING! Of course, only you know that. But very often that’s the case.
For me sometimes the voice of doubt and insecurity is so loud in my ears….Did God really tell you to do this Nicole? People want somebody who has it all together and knows their stuff. That’s what I tell myself but truth in my heart says, I want someone who’s been in the pit themselves and who knows exactly where I’ve been or where I’m at. I’m willing to bet that’s what you want too.
I read something today that so spoke to me because there are so many days as I go through this process that I feel unqualified and I feel like why on earth would someone ever listen to me I’m STILL STRUGGLING and quite honestly it may always be the “throne in my flesh” but I WILL continue on my journey of wholeness and freedom.
This was the devotion blog. “Currently, I’m in a season where anorexia is trying to win again. Let me share some truth with you. What ever battle you’re facing today, whether it’s comparison, doubt, pride, lust, self harm, fill in the blank ____. This does not define you! My eating disorder does not define me. It’s apart of my story and my story is still being written, Your story is still being written!”
This is as real as it gets right here folks. She’s STILL struggling and she’s STILL helping and encouraging people. I LOVE THAT SO MUCH! “It’s part of her story,” just like it’s part of MY STORY AND YOUR STORY. We don’t have to have it all together to help someone we just need to be willing and available.
What I hope and pray people see is the real me, the one who will sit down with you and take the mask off and say “Hey, this is my struggle too and precious friend you’re not alone.” This is me in my brokenness….my passion and my struggles!
I AM A TROPHY OF GRACE AND SO ARE YOU SWEET FRIEND!
Y’all!!! This is delish and it’s so easy! It’s also gluten free, low carb, and keto friendly. Winner winner, chicken dinner🤣
Do you love Asian food? Goodness we do. We have the best Chinese restaurant here called Panda House and they have THE BEST gluten free menu! I love them!
But when I want to make something at home this is one of my go too meals.
An interesting difference is I use Coconut Aminos. What are Coconut Aminos you ask?🤔 Basically, it’s a healthy alternative to soy sauce. I have Celiacs so I can’t have gluten which is in soy sauce. Nowadays they do have gluten free soy sauce but it’s awfully salty if you ask me plus my daughter has an allergy to wheat and soy lol so that’s kinda how I came across Coconut Aminos.
Ingredients: 4-5 Chicken Breast- cut bite size or shedded if you like. 2 Packages coleslaw mix 1/2 medium onion, chopped 2.5 Teaspoons mined garlic 1 Teaspoon ginger- optional 1 Scrambled egg small pieces- optional (Its very tasty) 3-4 Tablespoons Trader Joe’s or Bragg’s Aminos (To taste) OR Soy Sauce 1-2 Teaspoons rice vinegar (optional)
Directions: Cook the chicken breast until done, and cut or shred it, put to the side. 2 Tablespoons of Kerrigold butter. I put in a little bacon grease too😉 Add onions, garlic to pan and sauté. Add coleslaw mix and cook for about 15 mins, then mix in chicken. Add ginger, Trader Joe’s or Bragg’s Coconut Aminos, and rice vinegar (optional) Cook another 5-10 mins.
Other varieties are using roll of Jimmy Dean HOT sausage, shrimp, or you can use a combination.
Health Tip Of The Day:
Try making 1 change this weekand just be consistent with it. If you mess up it’s ok, just simply start again. Pick one and work on it till it becomes a habit.
Progress not perfection.
– Drinking half your weight in water for one week.
-Exercising or walking 20-30 minutes 3 days for one week.