Body Image Issues- What Are We Teaching Our Children?

I was in a department store the other day trying on clothes and right across from me was this mom and daughter doing the same thing. It was very disturbing to me listening to this conversation. The little girl says something like “I don’t like these and something about her hips are big.” Me working through my own body image issues my ears perked up. And course mom steps in and says with a loud and forceful, “No! you don’t have big hips! And,compared to who?” Obviously trying to figure out why her young daughter thinks she has big hips. The daughter names someone. Then the mom precedes to almost yell in the dressing room “You DO NOT HAVE BIG HIPS!! Which I can understand 100% But then she takes it to another level. “I’VE SEEN THE GIRLS IN YOUR CLASS” and then starts naming several names. Then takes it EVEN further saying well so and so had to have a large in something and you only had to have a small. So NO! YOU DO NOT HAVE BIG HIPS!

Are we really checking our daughters friends sizes??????

I understand being upset but it just broke my heart this little girl had to hear and see this being said about her friends and or people she knows.

This rant went on for at least 10 minutes, she belittling and demeaning other girls. Each comment penetrating deeper into this littler girls heart and mind. Realizing what truly mattered to her mom. Mind blowing if you ask me.

I’m sorry but this isn’t the way to build up your daughter. Your teaching her to compare herself even more with each comment and comparison you make.

Girls already struggle with comparison and then you are comparing her to other girls yourself.

SMH 😳

I actually felt sick standing in that dressing room listening to that mother comparing her daughter and demeaning all these other “little” girls. I just wanted to hug that little girl and tell her she was perfect just the way she is and that God loved her whether she has little hips, big hips, popular, unpopular, underweight, overweight, black, white, brown, etc.

Comparison is the thief of all joy. When we travel down this road of comparison that I sadly know all to well, it helps make things from the enemy easier to enter in. Things like disordered eating, lifelong roller coaster ride of dieting, self hating, self harm, body image issues, insecurity, etc. The list can go on and on and it can keep you in bondage like you can’t even imagine.

The enemy does a good enough job on his own convincing us we’re not good enough. He attacks our appearance, our weight, our work, our families….but what’s even more interesting is he can use the people in our lives too. People that love us and mean well.

Lord, I pray for these younger girls today to learn who they are in Christ and just how loved and treasured they are….not because of what they look like or what size they are but because God created them specifically….on purpose….and perfectly. Lord release them from the trap of comparison. Release them from the mirror and what they see or don’t like. Release them from the scale and the number they see or don’t see. Help them to not be enslaved to what the world calls beautiful but what You say Lord. Engrave on their heart Your everlasting love, and Your mighty plans and purposes for them in Jesus name Amen! 🙏

Hope you guys have a blessed and wonderful day!

Big hugs,

Nicole💗

Your Body is an Instrument Not an Ornament

Your body is an instrument not an ornament.

BOOM!!!

Let that sink in a minute.

I had to go to the dermatologist today for my yearly skin cancer check. He found only one, took care of it and sent it off so we wait for results. Pray it’s basal cell like the others I’ve had. Any who, as I was updating my paperwork half of it was, did I want information on these particular services…..Cool Sculpting, Botox, fillers, laser, etc. that was all before I got back to the room. Ridiculous! When I got in the room there was an area of cosmetic pamphlets for all the services you can choose to “make yourself better” more acceptable. Listen, I’m not saying there isn’t a place for this but I’m saying that society and media is constantly telling us as women “If you use this product or do this procedure you’ll be more beautiful and happy!” This is a multi bazillion dollar industry preying on women and our insecurities. You could have the most perfect body or face and they will still try and offer these services to “improve” what you have. Still implies there’s something wrong with you. Let me just say God don’t make no junk.

It’s a money making industry!!!

So who has determined that your thighs are too skinny or too fat?

Who has determined that your waist is too thin or wide?

Social media?

Celebrities?

Your friends?

You?

Let’s be real, most of what you see on tv, magazines, social media has all been airbrushed, filtered, or blurred in some way to make it look better. I mean we are all guilty of it. Me: Can you hold the camera up higher? Angle it this way🤣🙈 How long does it take to decide on a picture you will post? Or how many times do you retake a picture? I’m preaching to myself, I do the same thing. I’m just saying we all try and present the best image of ourselves or what we want people to see.

This just cracks me up, LOL🤣

Look at all the phot editing apps. Did your know your can actually stretch your body to make you look taller and thinner? What??? You can blurr out some cellulite….OK now that might be nice LOL. I had no idea but these apps do some crazy stuff. I know a woman I’m pretty sure she does all her photos with an app. She smooths out all her wrinkles to the point it doesn’t even look like her, maybe 20 years younger her. What’s crazy is she’s a beautiful lady. Who told her she needed to do that? To get Likes and comments to build her self esteem? Idk, but obviously she feels the need to look like a “better” versioned herself. Do you feel that same pressure from society or media? I’m sure we’ve all felt that.

But what if I told you, you could be ok in your own skin?!?!? Yea, yea, yea I know, I struggle with that too. Like really struggle. Would you believe me? I’m working hard on this area. I have literally cursed my body and hated it for as long as I can remember when it was thin or fat. It didn’t matter. I never felt enough. Why? I believed lies from the enemy. Things that were spoken over me. But also because I was always comparing myself to what society says is beautiful and acceptable. Also, past hurts, comments, relationships, or traumas can cause this as well. Only you know what played a role in yours.

What about what God says is beautiful and acceptable?

For we are God’s masterpiece. Ephesians 2:10

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:14

You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you. Sol 4:7

He hath made us accepted in the beloved.”— Ephesians 1:6

My nutritionist is the best, between her and my counselor they challenge me to do the work to truly be a better me, not necessarily in my looks but inside beauty. Inside beauty radiates to outside beauty.

So my nutritionist has been working on me with doing mirror work. Can I just say YUCK!! No one wants to do that. Most of you know I’ve struggled with an eating disorder, well with that comes body image issues. I’ve made a commitment to myself and God to do the hard work.

I’m ALL IN!

So I had to make a list of neutral statements of different body parts and then look in the mirror and say them to myself. Examples; hands, legs, eyes, feet, arms, butt, stomach, etc. Some are harder than others. When you’ve hated your body and been disgusted with it this is the LAST thing you want to do. But I’M ALL IN! So I do it off and on till the other day when I’m reminded that Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” Hebrews 4:13

See spiritually, we are naked before the Lord but this day I was to be “naked naked” before myself and my mirror. Really Lord??? You have got to be kidding me, my dude?!? 🤣 Nope….disrobe and let’s do this!!

I’m ALL IN so here I go LOL.

So I have mirror time, but NAKED MIRROR TIME! 😱🙈 Oh, the horror right?!?! I didn’t plan it but it just happened. I was just going to do the neutral statements but God had other plans. My friend, lots of tears were shed but I was following Gods leading.

I spoke the neutral words over every part.

I spoke nurturing words over every part.

And then I spoke a blessing over my body.

THAT I have never done. I’ve been too busy hating it and hating how it looks. When I should’ve been blessing it and being thankful for what it does. This is real life y’all, this is total transparency…..I told myself how sorry I was for how I’ve treated my body, how I hated it and cursed it and asked for forgiveness. It was difficult and beautiful all at the same time. Do you find yourself here? Well, if you’re do you are not alone.

Mirror time is getting better. Something broke off me that day. Do I still struggle, yes, of course, but I’m gonna keep doing it and eventually those feelings will catch up to what the Word of God says about me.

COMPARISON GAME

Do you play the comparison game? Boy, I have. What happens to us when we compare ourselves to what the world says is beautiful and acceptable? I’ll be happy to tell you…..we don’t measure up and you never will. You’ll never be happy. You’ll always be looking for the next thing to fulfill you, diet, lotion, procedure, exercise, etc. When we feel like we don’t measure up shame and guilt rush in and set up camp. Our lives become like little hamsters on the wheel, constantly spinning but never getting anywhere. Trying, failing, shame, guilt, repeat.

We make decisions in our lives based on how we look and how we think people perceive us. We don’t go to the party because we don’t feel pretty enough or have the right outfit. Or I can’t wear shorts again because my legs are ugly. How about, I can’t go swimming again because I’d have to put a bathing suit then others would see my thunder thighs or cellulite. Come on, where my sisters at??? I know there’s a bunch of y’all out there feeling this.

How many things have your missed out on because you felt less than or not good enough? I know I’ve missed out on waaaay to much. I challenge myself now to not do that, to explore the why, explore those feelings.

I’m ALL IN!

How about you?

So today, I’m learning how to nurture and love my body. I’m more than a body and so are you! Loving your body isn’t thinking your body looks good. It is knowing your body “IS” good regardless of how it looks. Now that right there is POWERFUL!

In a world full of body shaming, fat shaming, skinny shaming, messages coming at you left and right that something is not quit right about you. If you do this or that….buy this or that you’ll be a better you and you’ll finally be happy and accepted. I’ll leave you with this, love and appreciate your body for what it does. Your Body is Powerful. Use it as an Instrument, Not an Ornament. You are beautiful just the way you are flaws and all. You are Gods chosen instrument. You are good because God is good and you are made in His image.

Big hugs,

Nicole💗

You Matter In This World

Hey you, Yes YOU!! Just in case you need this sweet reminder. I’m here to tell you “You matter in this world!”

God don’t make no junk. YOU ARE HIS BEAUTIFUL MASTERPIECE! Created in his image.

• You have a unique roll to play, that only you can do.
• You are chosen.
• You born for such a time as this.
• You are creative.
• God won’t waste your pain.
• You are full of the fruit of the Spirit.
• You are an Influencer.
• You are beautiful.
• You are treasured.
• You are strong.
• You are an overcomer.
• You are valuable.
• You are the apple of His eye.
• You are irreplaceable.
• You are loved by God.
• You are blessed.
• You have purpose.
• You are full of passion.
• You are a difference maker.
• You are never alone.
• You are highly favored.
• You are healed.
• You are FREE.
• You are restored.
• You are redeemed.
• You are courageous.

Simply put, you matter because God says YOU MATTER!

You may not be where you wanna be but you’re not where you use to be. You’re on your way, Amen!

Go out today and smile, encourage someone, and make a difference in your world.

God bless you sweet friend!

Big hugs,

Nicole💗

Come To The Altar

Hey y’all! Hope everyone is doing great. I’m enjoying a day at home with my oldest daughter, it’s a NO SNOW😭 snow day. We’ve been watching When Calls The Heart and enjoyed some hot chocolate. Sure wish we were out playing in the snow but in Alabama this is what you get, LOL. Unplanned time together is the best even when you just chill! 💗

So how are you my friend? Is there anything you are you holding onto? Is there something weighing on your heart that you need to let go of?

Have you come to the altar today?

Journaling is a very healthy way to bring things out of the darkness and into the light. You may not be ready to share it with others and that’s ok but just writing it down and getting it out is so healthy. Even if you write it out, confess it to God and throw it away its just a healthy healing process. Remember Psalm 32:3 “When I keep silent about my sin, my bones began to weaken because of my groaning all day long.”

Are you feeling any of these?

Tired, broken, hurting, hopeless, happy, anxious, empty, lost, full of fear, full of love, joyful, sick, shame, hope, rejection, worried, searching to fill a void, blessed, happy, confused, etc

Today’s Challenge:

Are you ready to really dig in and get FREE?

To walk in the freedom God has planned for you? It’s time to lay it ALL on the altar, all your feelings, everything you’re holding onto, secret sin, bring who you are, what you’re not and what you want to be….bring it ALL precious one. It’s time to take off the mask. Come to the altar and lay it all at the foot of the Cross.

Living in the Word:

Romans 4:17 “…Call those things that be not as though they are.”

Matthew 11:28 “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.”

Isaiah 61:3 To grant consolation and joy to those who mourn in Zion—to give YOU an ornament of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garmet of praise instead of a heavy, burdened, and failing spirit—that YOU may be called Oaks of Righteousness…..

Renewing the Mind:

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart.

Psalm 39:7 And now, Lord, what do I wait for and expect? My hope and expectation is in You.

What God says about you:

I love YOU just the way you are! YOU don’t have to get all fixed up to come to Me. YOU are My priceless treasure, My special masterpiece. YOU are NOT a mistake, no I created YOU on purpose. Bring your burdens to Me, there is NOTHING to big and NOTHING I can’t handle. Trust Me precious one, expect and believe and you will see just what I can do in your life. I have great and mighty plans for YOU! Ephesians 3:20

Song of the Week:

“O Come To The Altar” Elevation Worship

You are anointed for hard….

The word fortitude means courage in pain or adversity.

I believe this describes each one of you. “She endured her illness with great fortitude.” You may not see it or even feel like it but you are full of GREATNESS on the inside. There is more to you than just fibromyalgia or any other autoimmune disease. You are beautiful, strong, full of life, courageous, and capable of enduring much.

You are anointed for hard and have much to offer.

I think sometimes we get caught up in our feelings and the things that are going on around us when we need to look past those things, dig deep and press in. Feelings are fickle, always changing, and often not dependable.

You have something in you that needs to work its way out and it’s something that only you possess but someone else is in great need of. Don’t believe that lie that this is the best I’m ever going to be, I’m giving up on my dreams. I’m settling here. NO!! This is temporary and this too shall pass.

If you let it, it will make you stronger and better but if your not careful it will make you bitter.

I say you’re a Warrior destined for greatness, you have been CHOSEN to do great things! But what do you say or believe, that’s what matters. How do you see yourself?

Everyone needs a hero and sometimes that hero is YOU ❤️

Have a great day! Big hugs!

Nicole💗

That Girl Was Me….

The story I’m about to share with you is about a girl I once knew. This girl was young and was full of shame for things another person had done to her when she was younger. She didn’t know it wasn’t her fault, she thought she deserved it. She had fear of rejection. She was raised in alcoholism. She felt she could never measure up. She was the perfect enabler and always sought approval from others. That girl was ME! There was a time in my life, a very dark time where I struggled with severe depression. The enemy would whisper in my ear and I believed the lies he said;

“Your not good enough.”

“No one will ever want you.”

“No one would miss me if I was gone.”

See at the time I was young and the things going on around me seemed unbearable and never ending. I was full of shame. I felt unloved, unwanted, that I could never measure up to what people wanted, and I felt not good enough. I was tired and just didn’t know what to do or how to handle it any more.

I was hanging with people that weren’t a good influence on me and not making good choices. I was staying with a friend, she was pregnant, unmarried, and we were just “having fun.” I was having problems with my boyfriend who by the way was awful to me but not having a stable father figure in my life I didn’t know any better.

I was also dealing with issues from my moms marriage, feeling overwhelmed to fix things that I couldn’t fix. Her husband would tell me awful things you should never say to anyone. Things like;

“You’re a slut.”

“You’ll never amount to anything.”

“No one would will ever want you.”

I loved him and I know in his own way he loved me but he was emotionally abusive and was an alcoholic. No one knew what was going on behind closed doors. We often put on the air that everything is perfect in our lives when in reality we are dying on the inside.

Let me just say that the devil is a liar!! He came to steal, kill, and destroy! He wants you to believe nothing will ever change, you’re to far gone, that you’ll never be able to measure up and that your better off dead. But thats not the case precious one. LIES! LIES! LIES! Do not be deceived by the whispers in your ear. God has great and mighty plan for your life, a hope and future but no one was speaking this over me or in my life.

One night I was all alone in my friends apartment, I felt as if my whole world was caving in on me. I felt unloved, full of shame, unwanted and not good enough. I was just tired. Not sure I truly wanted to die, all I knew was I couldn’t live this way anymore. I just wanted the pain to stop! I was listening to the lies being whispered in my ear and that night as I drank a couple of wine coolers I decided I would end the pain by taking a bottle of pills, and so I did. The pain would stop and I would be free.

Shorty after I took them I knew I had made a terrible mistake and I called my friend and told her what I had done and thankfully as God would have it she wasn’t far from home. She came and rushed me to the emergency room. They had to call my mom and she came as well. I never thought of the pain I would have caused her I just wanted my pain to stop.

I’m so thankful to God for that day! That was the day God pulled me out of the miry pit I was in. He said “NO, precious daughter! Not today! My life didn’t turn around dramatically but He set me on the course I was to be on. I still had not turned my life fully over to God, He was my Savior but I was still in the drivers seat. Now I was in the hospital getting the counseling I so deeply needed, I felt like I was there forever but it truly changed my life and the course it would take.

Not to long after that I met Sean and we got married and had 3 beautiful daughters. My life wasn’t perfect but I was now letting go and letting God.

I want to fast forward a bit to a night a few years ago when I was a girls high school youth leader. The night seemed like any other night but it wasn’t going to be. This would be where God takes our mess and He gives us a message. That night a young girl showed up and come to find out she had taken an overdose of medication and me and another leader rushed her to the hospital.

I hadn’t thought about what I had done in so many years and now all those thoughts and feelings came flooding back and I knew exactly where this beautiful young girl was at. I didn’t know her and yet I did. Just as God said to me in the darkest time of my life “Not today precious one.” He said the same thing to her. It wasn’t her time.

God so perfectly orchestrated the whole thing, for her to come there and for me to be there.

We waited and waited for what seemed like forever, I couldn’t leave and go home though. I had to talk to her and hug her. I had to share my experience, strength and hope with her.

See what the devil meant to harm and destroy in my life God worked for good and hers on that very night. God made our paths cross on purpose. He had a plan and it was a perfect plan.

Whatever lies the devil has whispered to you, I want you to know first off….the devil is a liar. And secondly YOU ARE LOVED! God loves you so much, his love for you is never ending but right now you may feel like I did when I was 18 or like the young girl who came that night…..you just can’t see beyond the pain. If no one else will, let me be the one to speak life over you and tell you what God is saying to you:

My beloved son or daughter,

Wherever you are you are NOT alone. I am with you always, in the good times and bad. Call on My name, I will never leave you nor forsake you. I created you on purpose and I have great and mighty plans for your life, ones you can’t even imagine or dream. What the enemy meant to harm and destroy I WILL WORK FOR YOUR GOOD. You may not see it right away but if you trust Me, it will come to pass. I am for you not against you, and My Word cannot return void. I am no respecter of persons, what I do for one I will do for another. I know it feels like it but your pain won’t last forever. You are a child of the Most high God. I call you beloved, chosen, beautiful, holy, set free, redeemed, overcomer, vicTOR not a victim. You are the apple of my eye, my wonderful masterpiece. That’s who I say you are! Don’t listen to the whispers of the enemy.

This pain, this guilt or shame you carry was not meant for you. The load is to heavy precious one, give it all to Me, for my yoke is easy and my burden is light. I want to heal you every where you hurt. I know your searching and thirsty but search and thirst no more, because if you believe in Me rivers of living water flow over you.

I have seen your heartache and pain, it didn’t escape Me, I caught each tear you’ve cried in a bottle. Give me your broken heart and just see what I can do. Let Me redeem what the enemy has stolen from you. Let Me bring healing and restoration to the broken places of your life. I know you think it’s impossible but NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME! Trust and believe in Me, and expect Me to show up and show out. For I have loved you with everlasting love💗

Sincerely,

God

I know what it’s like to feel hopeless and alone, that’s why I think God has been helping me to be more vulnerable with the trials I’ve been threw. I never want my pain to be wasted, if I can just help 1 person than that makes it worth it all. Find someone you can share with and help you walk it out. What the enemy wants is for you to feel like you are all alone and no one knows where your coming from but I say that’s a lie straight from the pit of hell! You are NOT alone and as you find the strength to share your pain you’ll find others just like you. Now what was once hidden in the dark is now in the light and doesn’t have the same power as it once did.

Never give up precious one. God is with you always. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Keep pressing in trusting God to do a mighty work in your life. That pain you feel, that loss, that tragic thing that happened to you….God will use it for good in your life and you’ll be able to help someone else. You are a trophy of grace!

Be blessed and big hugs,

Nicole 💗

If you have thoughts of suicide call a friend, a pastor, a teacher, a doctor, find someone to talk to or call:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255

New beginnings

I am so excited to be on this health journey with you. It has been one of ups and downs for me healthwise but WOW have I learned A LOT and grown!! Healthy living is more than just what you weigh, I think it’s a combination of things. But in today’s society its focused on what we look like and what we weigh, just watch tv for a bit and you’ll see and if your not secure in who you are in Christ you might even feel bad abt yourself or feel not good enough. If you are getting your validation by the world, what you see in the mirror or what you have or don’t have, I can promise you, you will continue to be broken and unfulfilled. Only God can truly heal you and give you meaning and LIFE ABUNDANT. While growing up I had a very misguided view of how I should look and be which carried over into adulthood. I was EXTREMELY INSECURE! I was always small growing up and then when I began having children, I also started having health issues, and so began my journey. This was really difficult becus at the time I was getting my worth in what I looked like and it didn’t match what I saw or had in mind.  It truly had gotten so bad (and this is embarrassing to say but unfortunately true) that would avoid going to certain places and I couldn’t even watch tv without comparing myself to what I saw. I began to hate myself, I felt as if I never measured up. I seriously would have to leave the room because I would get angry and cry…..NOW THATS SAD! I don’t know if anyone can relate to that or not but that’s just how bad I felt abt myself. But I learned that God loves me and created you and me and He didn’t make a mistake or any junk. He calls you (me) beautiful, chosen and holy. You have purpose!! And it’s more than what you see in the mirror or what you weigh. A healthy life IS eating good and exercising, our body is the temple and must be taken care of but a healthy life is also renewing our mind and getting in agreement with God’s word. It’s amazing to me at my SMALLEST I hated myself and I was soooo unhappy. Today I’m not where I wanna be but I’m happy, joyful and enjoying the journey. Might sound funny but I like myself and I don’t hate myself anymore, that’s HUGE! That’s God!! What a mighty work He has done and doing in me and He can do the same thing in you. We just have to be open and willing to let Him in the dark places and bring healing everywhere we hurt. That feeling you get when you walk into a room and don’t feel good enough, LIES LIES LIES from the enemy!! You ARE special, you are unique, there is only one YOU and YOU have a purpose and destiny that ONLY YOU can fill. Precious one, you are worth far more than rubies!! You are God’s masterpiece and today is the day for NEW BEGINNINGS!!!

Isaiah 43:18-19New Living Translation (NLT)

18 “But forget all that—
it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.
19 For I am about to do something new.
See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.