This is a past writing but recently had a similar situation again that prompted me to revisit, update it and Share again.
You can usually tell when someone doesn’t like you, it’s not hard to figure out. So the other day someone said something unkind to me. They may not have meant it the way it sounded but nevertheless it hurt me. I came home and talked to my husband about it and he shared his thoughts on it and it helped me to look at the situation differently.
Interestingly, it happened while I am going through Freedom and this weeks chapter is on Forgiveness. Go figure, lol. Then I was listening Joyce Meyer’s podcasts and she did a couple shows on Offense, talk about a double whammy. I don’t think it’s a coincidence, I think God shows us things and reveals things in layers.
So when the “offense” happened as I said it hurt me but then I got mad and started thinking “Who do they think they are? They hardly even know me.” I’m thinking how I can distance myself from this person, etc. but because of the study and Joyce’s message I was quickly reminded I needed to forgive them and not waste any time doing so. If you don’t deal with at its onset it turns into anger, resentment, bitterness, and finally unforgiveness.
Offense steals your peace, your joy, strength and energy and can even make you sick. Who wants to live like that??? I know I don’t, I don’t have time for that mess.
It also reminded me that our words and actions can hurts others whether we intend to or not. Your words are containers of power, but you get to decide what kind of power they have. Speak life!
“Lord put a watch guard over my mouth.” Psalm 141:3
I try to follow the Golden Rule, treat others as you want to be treated. Not to say I always get it right. So as I was praying about it God simply put in my heart the word insecurity. I thought WOW what does that mean?
As I prayed God brought some other situations to mind, once a few years ago where I had gone to a ladies conference it was awesome! Such a powerful on time word. God showed up in a mighty way. The alter was full but I remember walking back to my seat as I looked up I saw all the little groups gathered together and I saw many standing or sitting alone. My heart was broken because I’ve been that one alone, not feeling accepted in a group. Wondering what’s wrong with me? I just wept.
In Romans 15 he talks about welcoming one another, and being in one accord with Christ Jesus. What if you had been a new person at church that night and no one welcomed you because you were to busy in your “group” so to speak. If you don’t know who you are in Christ that may shake you or turn you away from the church, and that happens more than you realize. They could have even been in a desperate place and that’s why they came to church that night. All it takes is a simple smile and hello, maybe even a hug because you know us southerners looove to hug 🤗 Add a kind word “I’m so glad you’re here!” You have just made someone’s day! You have no idea what people are going through, we’ve gotta get outside of ourselves, our groups and just love on people. Get to know others.
When I was in high school it was cliquey.
I’ve worked were it was cliquey.
I’ve even been on trips where it was cliquey.
Sometimes it feels like you can’t escape it But nowhere in my bible does it say God loves one certain group of people. God doesn’t show favoritism, Romans 2:11.
I think we are depriving ourselves of some really awesome opportunities when we do this. We each have so much to offer! Young women, women rocking middle age or older, skinny, average, or overweight, tall, short, healthy, sick, or disabled, wealthy or not….we can all learn from each other. We are better together.
I think this is where INSECURITY comes in from the original situation I spoke of and even jealousy.
In James 4:2 “You are jealous and covet [what others have] and your desires go unfulfilled; [so] you become murderers. [To hate is to murder as far as your hearts are concerned.] You burn with envy andanger and are not able to obtain [the gratification, the contentment, and the happiness that you seek], so you fight and war…..”
We often put up walls against people, we look at them and say to ourselves maybe not out loud but we sure think it.
“She’s not like me”
“She’s not good enough”
“Her kids are to bad or to good”
“She doesn’t dress like me”
“She’s a alcoholic”
“She’s to pretty”
I can’t be friends with her, yep I’ve done that! Fill-in the blank for whatever. Guys you can insert “He.”
I think we are really missing out when we live our lives like this. We label, shut people out and then we miss out on the blessings that they could bring to our lives.
I’ve learned that it might even surprise you but you need them in some way. They have something to offer you that you don’t have. But we have to take our walls down and blinders off so we can recognize it. See I think we complement or add value each other if given the chance.
Just because someone isn’t like you, doesn’t live in the same neighborhood, drive a certain car, dress a certain way, or doesn’t have the same kind of job it doesn’t make them less valuable.
I’m a housewife or I like to call it “Family Manager” lol because that’s pretty much what a stay at home mom or housewife does. We manage EVERYONE. I love my job and feel blessed to do it. Whatever you do from doctor to teacher to mechanic to computers to managing to cleaning houses or grooming pets, etc. don’t ever let someone’s opinion of you make you feel less than or not valuable. YOU ARE EXTREMELY VALUABLE precious one because God created you not because of what you do or have or don’t have. God loves you just the way you are and he has a great plans for you.
People need you, not a clone of you. Just YOU! Be who God created you to be even if you have to go against the flow.
It’s funny because if you know me very well then you know my story of how I use to hate women and how catty women can be. The cattiness is sadly still true but over the years God put a love in my heart for women and women’s ministry which to me was hysterical. I was like God you have such a sense of humor lol!
But today my heart breaks again to see how we as women, some still divided, we should unite together and yet we still exclude each other based on insecurity and jealousy. We say derogatory remarks even if in a joking manner, but you wouldn’t have said if you didn’t think it or feel it, right?
Sometimes it’s as simple as thinking before you speak but a lot of times we just say what’s on the top of our head without thinking it might be perceived differently or hurt someone.
If you don’t need this, I’ll preach to myself, we all struggle with this at one time or another. But it’s do we ever choose to deal with it and do something about it is the question?
Do we check our motives?
Do we learn to think before we speak?
Can we rise above this?
Can we empower each other? Our daughters? Our sons?
I feel like God put us here to love on each other, lift each other up, and encourage one another not tear each other down. Everyone one of us has value, YOU are a child of the King!
Don’t miss out on the opportunities God has for you because of feelings of insecurity or jealousy, or whatever they may be.
Listen, feelings are fickle, always changing, and NEVER RELIABLE!!
Feelings of rejections are powerful but know that God accepts YOU just as you are and that’s ALL that’s matters. I’ve dealt with rejection and man you sure have to stand against or it will eat you alive. Do we let one persons opinion dictate our lives? Maybe you find yourself there today. I know I have before, even when I knew the person was broken, unhealthy, and misguided but I still allowed them to bring me down and distract me from what God wants me to do. Even to the point where I stopped writing because of a single comment someone close to me said. I didn’t write again for a year and half. It rocked my world. Let me tell you how happy the devil was about that! It took me a long while sadly but I realized despite what they think I need to do what God told me to do, even if “they” don’t like it or agree with it.
This is why learning who we are in Christ is so important. Otherwise things of this world will rock you and that’s not God intentions. You are loved and accepted in Christ and meant to walk in His plans and purposes and freedom precious one.
Love and hugs,