Category Archives: Trust God

When You Have A Toxic Relationship With A Parent-Mother/Daughter

This is a subject close to my heart and yet it’s very painful and not something openly talked about. We live in world where where it’s portrayed that there is always good relationships between mother daughter (or parent/child) but sometimes the reality couldn’t be further from the truth. In this world there is brokenness, mental illness, addictions, and just evil. YES it’s sad. YES it’s traumatic. YES it is painful. But it’s still truth. It cannot be denied but it can be dealt with over time.

Sometimes you can do all the things and it’s jusy not enough. You can choose to forgive and turn the other cheek 70*7 like the Bible says and we should but you weren’t called to be a doormat or abused.

In our culture you often hear a parent can go no contact or even disown their child and it’s more acceptable. “Ohhh they were so horrible to their mother or father!” But if a child decides to go no contact with their parent you hear….”you only have one Mom or Dad. You’ll be sorry one day.” Let me just say you have no idea what someone has been through to even get to the point to make such a decision. It took years and years and years and many tears and prayers before I ever made such a decision. Knowing I’d be judged for doing so but also knowing I and my family would have more peace and less drama. People these days have opinions without knowing facts. They spew hurtful words and have no idea what you’ve been through and it’s like being traumatized all over again.

Yes, we are called to forgive. But continue in a toxic relationship in the same manner, NO! Absolutely not! Sometimes no amount of effort on your part or even prayer can heal a relationship with someone who is toxic and has no desire to do different. We don’t want to hear this but in my 51 years, THIS is my experience.

Yes my God is BIGGER than any situation, any circumstance and He can absolutely heal a broken, toxic relationship but BOTH parties have to want it not just one.

When only one party is doing all the work, often times that person is the one also enabling the relationship but may not realize it. This is where we pray “God open MY eyes to do MY part. Help me love how YOU would have me love THIS person and how it would best serve this person.”

What I have found in how to love a toxic, broken person best is sometimes from afar. Sometimes it’s letting them feel the consequences of their behavior. Sometimes they have to walk through their own decisions or trials by themselves simply because you will enable them and try to take away the pain they so desperately need to feel. Pain they’ve tried to escape or put on others. Let me just say upfront how excruciatingly painful this WILL BE sweet one. Letting someone come to grips of who they are, what they’ve done, who they’ve hurt isn’t always pretty and you will want to make them “feel better” but that’s helped keep it going in the first place. Allowing God to do what He needs to do in that persons life is what needs to happen.

Let go and let God.

Sometimes limiting contact or even going no contact is what has to happen. For me I have chosen no contact now for 6 months and it has been hardest most painful thing and yet God has done so much healing in me in this time. There maybe a time when we are reconciled but that isn’t up to me. For now, I’m doing what God has told me to do and focusing on allowing Him to heal those broken place from all the trauma I’ve been through. His desire is for us to be made whole and help others along the way and that’s what I plan to do.

See, you were meant to love, edify, and build up, the problem is relationships work both ways. But it may only be working in one direction. It takes two. In relationships, we care for one another and not tear each other down. We are even selfless at times.

In relationships you love, serve, and give instead of taking all the time or sucking the life out of people. But I have to insert a disclaimer here ****Yes we do all these things but NOT, I repeat NOT to the determinant of our own well-being or mental health. Some people are takers and will take advantage of you, so you have to watch out for this and do what’s best for you.

Don’t be afraid to set boundaries.

The word NO is good and it’s ok to use it. It will feel wrong when you start doing it but it’s OK!

Keep doing it.

Precious one, YOU must take care of yourself so you can be the best version of yourself for you and others.

I am so thankful to God for my healing journey. It’s been very hard and painful. Lots of hard work and I have a long way to go but I will get there. Despite my relationship with my mother, I didn’t have a very close relationship with my dad either but I have a great relationship with my 3 daughters. It is only by the grace of God because I didn’t have that roll model. But I did know how I didn’t want to be and that definitely served me. I know I didn’t do everything right and yes I made mistakes as a mother but God helped me be a better Mom because of what I went through. For that I am soooo thankful for. His grace is perfect and it’s there if you need it.

So let me say if this is you too….my heart goes out to every girl who’s mother isn’t their best friend, as they should be. My heart goes out to every girl who tries to have a healthy relationship with their mother, but can’t. My heart aches for any girl who wishes more than anything they could have a loving relationship with their mother, but no matter how much they try, it just doesn’t work. It’s difficult to understand how traumatic a toxic relationship between mother and daughter truly is, and my heart aches for anyone who’s been unlucky enough to say they understand. *Unknown

As I’m on my healing journey, I’m becoming more open and transparent about things from the past and I know God wants to heal that little girl in me that was so hurt and broken. If this is you my prayer for you is that you do the work sweet friend. Do the hard and painful work. Everyone runs from pain these days but I encourage you to run to the pain, sit with it, embrace it and allow God in to heal it. He has soooo much in store for you, things you can’t imagine. It’s gonna take time. It may take a long time but YOU ARE WORTH IT! You are worthy! You are enough and God loves YOU!!

Big hugs,

Nicole❤️

Joshua 1:9, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Enter In

Good morning y’all! Hope you are doing well. I feel like I have a word from the Lord for you today. So much is going on around us in these crazy times but God says its time to ENTER IN sweet friend!

Enter into the promises of God!

Enter into His Presence!

You are about to see the supernatural come to pass! You are right on the edge so DON’T GIVE UP!!

Keep PRESSING IN!

Keep asking, keep seeking, and keep knocking!!

Those things you’ve been praying for, that breakthrough it’s going to supernaturally come to pass!

God is working even when you can’t see it.

We need to stand on the promises of His Word because NOTHING is to big for Him.

Whatever you’re going through, it’s NO match for our Almighty God!

One word from You
Things change on Your authority
Your word, it’s true
Things change on Your authority
One word; from You.”

The enemy has come only to steel, kill, and destroy! Oh BUT HE came that we may have life to the full, till it overflows.

Are you overflowing? Don’t worry if you can’t answer yes, you are not alone.

If I’m honest right now no I’m not in that overflowing part of life He died for me BUT I’m in that pressing and contending for part of life.

Lots of things have happened the last few months, things that have been extremely difficult but I’m trusting God with all that is within me and I KNOW that he works ALL things out for my good and He will for you too sweet friend.

I can’t explain why but sometimes we just gotta contend a little longer.

As we are contending for the things we are believing God for, let our posture be on our knees as we look up to the One who has the power to change things, heal things, and restore things. I don’t know about you but I need some things in our life changed, healed, and restored. The good news is God is able! He is trustworthy. He is still in the miracle making business.

Contend, pray, and believe just a little bit longer and ENTER INTO His presence as you do and things will change.

I declare you are walking in the God’s authority and the plans of the enemy are destroyed and annihilated in Jesus name! As you release the promises of God over your life, your words are full of resurrection power and none of them will fall to the ground!

Decree it with confidence my friend! For your declarations will truly come to pass! I am strong! I am fearless! No matter what am faced with only good can come out of this! God works ALL things for my good. NO weapon formed against me will prosper! Amen!

Hope you guys have a blessed and wonderful day! If you have any prayer requests please let me know I’d love to pray for you.

Big hugs,

Nicole💗

One word from You
Things change on Your authority
Your word, it’s true
Things change on Your authority

Will Heaven not prevail and strongholds not be moved?
Will spirits not be silenced and cower at His rule?
For if my God is for me then what have I to fear?
And I will not deny Him the glory that is His
Will Heaven not prevail and strongholds not be moved?
Will spirits not be silenced and cower at His rule?
For if my God is for me then what have I to fear?
And I will not deny Him the glory that is His, oh
Heaven will prevail and strongholds will be moved
Shout it out
Spirits will be silenced and cower at His rule
I know my God is for me so what have I to fear?
For nothing will deny Him the glory that is His

One word from You
Things change on Your authority
Your word, it’s true
Things change on Your authority

Heaven will prevail and strongholds will be moved
Spirits will be silenced and cower at His rule
I know my God is for me so what have I to fear?
For nothing will deny Him the glory that is His

The Battle Has Just Begun

Don’t forget who created you, you are anointed for such a time as this!

The storms and trials that come into our lives may bend you but they can never break you! They may even bring you to your knees but what better place to be on your knees crying out to Jesus. God’s got you sweet friend.

I know for me fear has played a huge part in my life. Especially when it comes to people closest to me. The fear of the unknown, fear of the known, sometimes I don’t know which is worse. Rejection and anxiety run close to fear. Are you anxious or worried about something?

It’s real easy to get consumed by it all. I’ve been there, can you relate? I get wrapped up in the problem and I can’t see anything else. I’m stuck and I feel paralyzed. I can’t see beyond it, it seems as though it will never end or change. But can I just tell you, that’s just lie from the pits of hell!

When we submit to God, he moves on our behalf. He says precious one, “the battle does not belong to you.” Come to Me, rest in Me and I will fight this battle for you, all you have to do is be still. 2 little words…..so hard to do. It’s in our nature we want to do but sometimes it’s not up to us to fix the situation.

We have to learn to lean on God and trust Him in the hard times….and good times.

If I’m honest, I have also found that I wasn’t waiting on God, he was waiting on me. Often times, we have to do hard things before God will do his part. It could be a matter of setting a boundary with someone but just the thought of it makes you sick. I’ve been there. Or allowing another to feel the consequences of their own choices and behavior, and not rescuing them or fixing it for them.

Why do we feel not worthy of someone treating us right?

Why do we accept bad behavior from people in our lives?

Let me reassure you that God loves you and wants good things for your life but you have to also want them. You have to set boundaries for yourself and others.

You have to know that Jesus died for you to have life to the full, till it overflows. Are you living in that overflow? Or are you just getting by, excepting things that you shouldn’t?

You are beautiful, you are worthy…because of what Christ did for you on the cross.

You are known by the King. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are treasured, chosen, called, adored, valued, priceless, wanted, and LOVED.

Do you know how great Gods love is for you?

Do you know how He sees you?

In life, we can learn to view ourselves by the things that people have done to us or the things they’ve said to us. We allow that to permeate on the inside of us and we become broken and toxic. God never meant for you to accept those things. He wants you to see yourself as He sees you. He wants you to forget what lies behind and press forward to all the good things He has in store for you. He wants to do a new thing in you precious one.

If you living in fear, worry, and anxious about everything there’s an answer…..If it’s enough to make you worry about then my friend it’s enough to pray about it!

Fighting on our knees is the key to living a victorious life.

1 John 5:4 for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.

You are an overcomer and the war has already been won. Do you not see it?

When things get tough and you feel overwhelmed, hit your knees sweet friend. The battle is won there. Keep praying, keep believing, keep trusting God. But also remember, you have another part to do as well. We must “be still” and know that God has us in the palm of his hand. You may also have to do something.

God maybe saying you need to do a certain thing so He can do his job, we can be in the way sometimes of God doing what He needs to do in our lives and others. If you’re honest you probably already know what it is, you just need courage to do it. Sometimes you have to release people, let them feel the pain of their own choices so things can be rebuilt and trust in your heart that God has you.

PRAY! PRAY! And PRAY SOME MORE!

Get In The Word:

The Lord is a man of war; the Lord is His name … Your Right Hand, O Lord, has become glorious in power; Your right hand, O Lord, has dashed the enemy in pieces. And in the greatness of Your excellence you have overthrown those who rose against You; You sent forth Your wrath which consumed them like stubble.” (Exodus 15:3,6)

“The Lord shall go forth like a mighty man; He shall stir up His zeal like a man of war. He shall cry out, yes, shout aloud; He shall prevail against His enemies.” (Isaiah 42:13)

“I will go before you and make the crooked paths straight; I will break in pieces the gates of bronze and cut the bars of iron.” (Isaiah 45:2)

“For you shall not go out with haste, nor go by flight; for the Lord will go before you, and the God of Israel will be your rear guard.” (Isaiah 52:12)

“Therefore understand today the Lord your God is He who goes before you as a consuming fire. He will destroy them and bring them down before you; so you shall drive them out and destroy them quickly, as the Lord has said to you.” (Deuteronomy 9:3)

“The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.” (Exodus 14:14)

“Be strong and courageous; do not be afraid nor dismayed before the king of Assyria, nor before all the multitude that is with him; for there are more with us than with him. With him is an arm of flesh; but with us is the Lord our God, to help us and to fight our battles.” (2 Chronicles 32:7)

“… For I will contend with him who contends with you.” (Isaiah 49:25)

“… since it is a righteous thing with God to repay with tribulation those who trouble you …” (2 Thessalonians 1:6)

The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms; He will thrust out the enemy from before you, and will say, ‘Destroy!’ ” (Deuteronomy 33:27)

Do not say, “I will recompense evil;” Wait for the Lord, and He will save you.” (Proverbs 20:22)

I will bless those who bless you, and I will curse him who curses you …” (Genesis 12:3)

Praise Him while your waiting. He will bring you comfort in your time of need. He is the God of all comfort and He brings restoration!

Have a blessed and wonderful day!

Big hugs,

Nicole💗

This is how I fight my battles
This is how I fight my battles
It may look like I’m surrounded
But I’m surrounded by You
It may look like I’m surrounded
But I’m surrounded by You
It may look like I’m surrounded
But I’m surrounded by You

It may look like I’m surrounded
But I’m surrounded by You