Hey! Hey! Hey!
How are my favorite Trophy of Grace friends? It’s been a minute since I’ve posted. This has been such a difficult season I’ve been in. I’m sure you’ve been there at some point. Coming in, middle, or going out of it.
Regardless, Jesus You are worthy of my song. You are worthy of my praise.
I will forever remember 2020, it is scorched in my heart and mind. October 31st 2019 was my first appointment with my nutritionist. She specialized in eating disorders. I told her upfront I didn’t want this to be about losing weight, I wanted us to get to the root of why I was doing what I was doing and why I felt the way I did. So often we focus on the actions we are taking or not taking and we want to change but using another set of rules to gain freedom and love for ourselves and others. But my friend, there is something driving it, there’s a root cause to what’s going on in our lives.
For me, I discovered that past traumas and pain drove my eating disorder and body image issues. Which reflects in all areas of your life.
When the pandemic started I was 4-5 months into this healing journey I’m on. I can’t explain it but I started to flourish when others like me where falling deeper into there disorder because of Covid, loss, and isolation. I was gaining more and more freedom. But there always comes a point on the road to freedom, it gets REALLY HARD. It’s in the REALLY HARD place, we have a decision to make. We can suffer the pain of change or the pain of staying the same. Suffering is inevitable, but you get to choose whether you get to the other side of it or you can stay in the darkness, the sadness, and the brokenness. Friend it’s so important to choose well here. I’m even gonna give you the answer……KEEP PRESSING IN! Keep pressing on, never give up!! Feel the pain, let God do a perfect work in you.
There is blessing in the breaking.
Blessing and pain you’re gonna feel it, it might as well be going through….you are worthy sweet friend. You are worthy because Jesus says you are.
I had so many life challenges and changes in 2020, it would prove to be a difficult season but so enlightening to me and life changing.
I’ve always had passion to help others, loved all things health related. I started Holistic Health and Wellness coaching school and honestly with my dad moving here, and other issues with my Mom, and my life drastically changing because of Covid it was so overwhelming. Drs telling me to stay home and stay safe🙄 I went from seeing friends and church, leading small groups in my home, and being on the go to just nothing and it was sooooo hard and lonely. It was too overwhelming to finish school, which then heaped on lots of shame and guilt. As if I didn’t have enough of that. I still kept working with my nutritionist and learning and growing. Not realizing God still had a plan for me. It was a season of pain but GROWTH AND WISDOM. I was learning to listen to my body intuitively. One day I was listening to an ED podcast they started talking about Intuitive Eating, what is this they are talking about??? Sounds interesting. Sounds familiar. Examples they were giving were things I was doing and working on. Next session I talked to Amie and I asked about Intuitive Eating and she says that’s what you’ve been doing, LOL. My goodness, what I was working on had a name. Which of course I must know more so I dive deeper in my journey.
I started back to school this year, despite hearing the voices of ‘your not good enough’ or ‘You have nothing to offer’ or God can’t use you, you’re too broken. My biggest takeaway from 2020 till now is God has a plan whether we see it or not. He created you for great things. His plans for you are to prosper and not harm you. It may be a fight but sweet friend it’s worth it. Despite how I felt about giving up school in 2020 God knew what I didn’t know. He still had more to teach me. If I had finished it in 2020 oh my goodness my coaching would look soooo different than it will once I’m done this time. I would’ve coached focusing on food rules, good and bad foods, foods to avoid, reaching the perfect weight, orthorexia basically, etc.
Today I’ve learned there are no good or bad foods, my body isn’t a project to be improved and constantly be rejecting and trying to make it fit into what the world deems good! My body IS GOOD regardless of what the world says. Today I want to help women with intuitive eating and body image issues and find freedom.
YOUR BODY IS GOOD.
YOUR BODY IS GOOD, TODAY! Not when you’ve reached a certain weight or size. JUST AS YOU ARE SWEET FRIEND!!
My mom was always on diet, so of course I fell into that. But we come in all shapes, color and sizes. Your size, shape, weight, hair color, skin color, eye color, boobie size🙈🤣🤷🏼♀️ is NOT and I repeat it does not dictate your worth and value. In a culture that objectifies women and if you don’t fall into a certain category you are deemed not worthy.
YOU are worthy!
If I don’t weigh a certain number then I’m not good enough. We let Hollywood and the world’s culture tell us to be a certain weight and we will accept you. I bought into that crap for waaaayyyy too long.
Can I just remind you of how great your Fathers love is for you and how He created you for purpose. He don’t make NO JUNK! (In my best southern accent😜)
There I said it…..YOU are not junk to be thrown aside because you don’t fit in a certain category. We are all different….since when is being different bad?? God made us all different because we all have gifts and talents we each need.
You weren’t meant to fit in a box! You were meant to flourish in your skin, not be a clone of someone “society” thinks is perfect.
NO!!! YOU were perfectly created by a perfect Creator.
I’m so thankful for 2020 and the lessons it’s taught me about God and myself. I’m thankful that He is teaching about having a healthy relationship with food and trusting Holy Spirit to led me. I’m thankful I can listen and hear from my body, more importantly I can trust it. I’m thankful I don’t have to weigh myself every day, I still may not like the number on the scale but I’m learning to love myself more. The real me. Enjoying a cookie or a Bundt cake without feeling shame and guilt is just bonus. Food was meant to nourish us but also for our enjoyment and pleasure.
I’ve rejected God’s creation…..myself….for far to long. I have made my mind up to trust the One who created me and loves me…..and you…unconditional with an everlasting love.
The pain and suffering has a place and a purpose, it was not meant to take you out. Yes it can if we let it, but you keep giving Him your worship. You keep pressing into the One who changes all things and works them out for your good. When that voice is soooo loud in your ear saying quite, give up, it’s too much, it may even tell you the world is better off without you so I might as well end it. Friend I’ve been there, but hear me tell you that YOU are loved, the pain does get better, trust in the One who heals. Do the hard things and press….press….and keep on pressing through the pain. Preach to yourself. Get up on the inside.
Praise proceeds the victory!! Hallelujah!🙏🙌
There’s blessing in the breaking and YOU ARE GONNA MAKE IT. You are anointed for hard things.
God bless you and I hope you have a blessed and wonderful week! You are a trophy of grace!
Worthy of My Song- Phil Wickam and Chandler Moore