If you are struggling with body image issues, sweet friend you are believing lies. Please hear me when I say God designed you beautifully and perfect just the way you are. He didn’t create us to hate ourselves. I’ve been there, I know what it’s like. No amount of weight loss will make you happy. At my smallest I hated myself more than you could know. I was stuck in an eating disorder, past trauma, and shame and guilt. I was believing the lies the enemy was whispering to me. I bought it hook, line, and sinker, maybe you have too?
The enemy wants to steal, kill, and destroy us. He wants to steal your joy and peace and often uses our insecurities to do it.
Sometimes the lies we believe are loud and other times they are very subtle. But they can become so deeply rooted in us and we not even realize it.
Society/diet culture has sold us the BIGGEST lie…..If we look a certain way or weigh a certain amount you will be happy and your life will be better. That’s a lie straight from the pit of hell.
Your happiness has nothing to do with your looks or weight sweet friend. Don’t buy into that. You are more than a number and more than how you look. You have sooo much more to offer than an image. God has given you gifts and talents that only you have. He has an awesome plan for you but if we are stuck believing the lies the enemy is speaking then we cannot fulfill our purpose.
Let’s kick the devil in his teeth by doing the work to overcome the lies he’s tried to distract us with.
👊TRUTH…..YOUR TRUTH is YOU are unique, wonderfully made, and there’s no one else like you.
👊He knew you before he created you, knew the mistakes you would make and STILL chose to create you ON PURPOSE..FOR A PURPOSE.
👊You are saved and completely made whole IN HIM.
👊You are forgiven and redeemed.
👊You are called and you are free!
👊You are victorious, accepted, and healed.
👊And so much more.
When the enemy comes at you telling you lies, “you are not enough” you come back at him with I AM MORE THAN ENOUGH because God calls me daughter of the King. I am here for a purpose with gifts and talents someone else needs. I WILL rise up from the ashes and be ALL that God has called me to be! Devil you are under my feet and defeated and I WON’T believe your lies anymore. Amen!! Speak truth and scripture over your life and walk in Gods plan for your life and family, in Jesus name, Amen!🙏🙌
Ekkkkk……it’s almost Thanksgiving! And right after that Christmas will be here before you know it, right? I’ll be honest I’m definitely a Christmas girl! I love ALL THINGS CHRISTMAS! 🎄🌟🎅 The sights, the sounds, family and friends coming together….the food😋
Duh…duh…duhhhh….the food for a lot of us can become such an issue of shame, guilt, and pain. Turkey, ham, gravy, pumpkin pie, green bean casserole, mac n’ cheese, cornbread dressing, sweet potato casserole….Oh so yummy and honestly I can’t wait! But I remember a time when I didn’t feel that way. These 2 holidays would cause me a lot of anxiety over food. Most of us have already pre-attached shame and guilt before we even get to the holiday meal. That’s sad to me and I remember it all to well. Having an eating disorder or disordered eating wrecks havoc during times like this especially. Will I binge or restrict? How much will I gain or lose? What does so and so think of me? How can I best protect my image?
Culture tells us to eat a certain way, don’t eat this or that. If you do eat it now your bad, now you take on all the shame and guilt and tell yourself I’ll do better next time. Am I right???? During these 2 holidays you will hear ‘Happy Thanksgiving, don’t eat to much!’ Or if you Google Thanksgiving you’ll find 10 Tips to not gain weight during the holiday. Or Avoiding Holiday Weight gain. Or How to Make Your Holiday Healthy. Whyyyy? Why does everything go to weight or our image? Why is it always protecting body size? This says so much about our culture today.
Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7
Let me speak a little Truth 💣 💣💣💣 over you! You are made in the image of God. That’s means you are not an image that needs to be managed and manipulated and contoured into something the world says it’s approved of.
YOU ARE ALREADY APPROVED OF beautiful one!
One meal, including leftover won’t kill you or destroy all your progress but all the worry, stress, and anxiety surrounding it will. To much cortisol in your system is worse than the meal you’re about to eat. For some, food equals anxiety and then we slap labels on food like “good food” and “bad food,” that causes more anxiety than the one meal you could enjoy with family and friends.
When you are in a chronic state of anxiety over food….and yes soooo many people are, it will absolutely affect your body. You may feel bad and have some symptoms from elevated cortisol levels. Some symptoms might include
Intestinal problems, such as constipation, bloating or diarrhea
Anxiety or depression
Increased blood pressure
Difficulty recovering from exercise
Muscle pain or tension in the head, neck, jaw, or back
In all likelihood, once this happens you’re like “See, I told you I just can’t eat that particular food. When in reality it could very well just be the stress of cortisol on your body and not necessarily the food you ate. We stress so much over food and image and don’t realize the impact it takes on our body.
I read this the other day and thought how true that is. “Rest assured, the fear-mongering around calories and holiday meals says more about our culture than it does about our bodies. In reality, our bodies are smart; they are meant to be resilient. So go ahead: savor every last bite of that turkey or pumpkin pie, totally guilt-free.” The Every Girl blog.
Feasting is all over the Bible. So why do we not want to feast? We will fast all day long. But feasting is scary for some of us.
And Moses said, We will go with our young and with our old, with our sons and with our daughters, with our flocks and with our herds will we go; for we [must hold] a feast unto the LORD. Exodus 10:9
And this day shall be unto you for a memorial; and ye shall keep it a feast to the LORD throughout your generations; ye shall keep it a feast by an ordinance for ever. Exodus 12:14
Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, The fifteenth day of this seventh month [shall be] the feast of tabernacles [for] seven days unto the LORD. Leviticus 23:3
And he made them a feast, and they did eat and drink. Genesis 26:30
I could go on and on but I won’t. You can take a dive for yourself. Feasting is part of God’s best for you, we just don’t think that includes all the yummy foods He gave us.
Imma say it again for the people in the back!🤣👊
Feasting was Gods idea. He invites us to feast and it’s part of Gods best for us. Just let that sink in for a bit. Ponder it my friend. This is just one of the ways He shows us his goodness and abundance.
He’s the God of Abundance!
God lavished his love on us and pours out his blessings over us. His blessings include food sweet friend. So I say this year, turn our hearts toward gratitude and this year while you’re feasting at the table with family and friends, eat with a heart of gratitude.
I’d like to challenge you to a new way of thinking….Feasting is ok and food was meant to be enjoyed and satisfying. Tell the food police “Byyyeee!” Don’t say to yourself or the person beside you ‘ You’ve ate enough’ or ‘You’re getting MORE FOOD???’ Or ‘Don’t eat too much’ This causes more shame and guilt to people around you.
Let’s go of guilt and shame of eating a beautiful meal with family and friends. Enjoy the moment. Come to the table with grateful heart. Take in His goodness and love.
I hope y’all have the best Thanksgiving holiday ever walking in freedom.
Thank You Lord for the small things Like me and her on the porch swing For summer nights and fireflies And the sound of my old six string
Blessings, on blessings, on blessings, on blessings If I still got breath in these lungs And that’s all I need to get down on my knees And be thankful for all that He’s done
For my mama, for my friends For Your love that never ends For the songs that make us dance On this ol’ dirt floor For my babies, for my girl For the way they changed my world Waking up today Yeah, I just gotta say Thank You Lord Yeah, I just wanna say Thank You Lord (oh, now)
Thank You Lord for the hard times For lighting the way in the dark times For pulling me in, forgiving again The times that I took it too far, I
How are my favorite Trophy of Grace friends? It’s been a minute since I’ve posted. This has been such a difficult season I’ve been in. I’m sure you’ve been there at some point. Coming in, middle, or going out of it.
Regardless, Jesus You are worthy of my song. You are worthy of my praise.
I will forever remember 2020, it is scorched in my heart and mind. October 31st 2019 was my first appointment with my nutritionist. She specialized in eating disorders. I told her upfront I didn’t want this to be about losing weight, I wanted us to get to the root of why I was doing what I was doing and why I felt the way I did. So often we focus on the actions we are taking or not taking and we want to change but using another set of rules to gain freedom and love for ourselves and others. But my friend, there is something driving it, there’s a root cause to what’s going on in our lives.
For me, I discovered that past traumas and pain drove my eating disorder and body image issues. Which reflects in all areas of your life.
When the pandemic started I was 4-5 months into this healing journey I’m on. I can’t explain it but I started to flourish when others like me where falling deeper into there disorder because of Covid, loss, and isolation. I was gaining more and more freedom. But there always comes a point on the road to freedom, it gets REALLY HARD. It’s in the REALLY HARD place, we have a decision to make. We can suffer the pain of change or the pain of staying the same. Suffering is inevitable, but you get to choose whether you get to the other side of it or you can stay in the darkness, the sadness, and the brokenness. Friend it’s so important to choose well here. I’m even gonna give you the answer……KEEP PRESSING IN! Keep pressing on, never give up!! Feel the pain, let God do a perfect work in you.
There is blessing in the breaking.
Blessing and pain you’re gonna feel it, it might as well be going through….you are worthy sweet friend. You are worthy because Jesus says you are.
I had so many life challenges and changes in 2020, it would prove to be a difficult season but so enlightening to me and life changing.
I’ve always had passion to help others, loved all things health related. I started Holistic Health and Wellness coaching school and honestly with my dad moving here, and other issues with my Mom, and my life drastically changing because of Covid it was so overwhelming. Drs telling me to stay home and stay safe🙄 I went from seeing friends and church, leading small groups in my home, and being on the go to just nothing and it was sooooo hard and lonely. It was too overwhelming to finish school, which then heaped on lots of shame and guilt. As if I didn’t have enough of that. I still kept working with my nutritionist and learning and growing. Not realizing God still had a plan for me. It was a season of pain but GROWTH AND WISDOM. I was learning to listen to my body intuitively. One day I was listening to an ED podcast they started talking about Intuitive Eating, what is this they are talking about??? Sounds interesting. Sounds familiar. Examples they were giving were things I was doing and working on. Next session I talked to Amie and I asked about Intuitive Eating and she says that’s what you’ve been doing, LOL. My goodness, what I was working on had a name. Which of course I must know more so I dive deeper in my journey.
I started back to school this year, despite hearing the voices of ‘your not good enough’ or ‘You have nothing to offer’ or God can’t use you, you’re too broken. My biggest takeaway from 2020 till now is God has a plan whether we see it or not. He created you for great things. His plans for you are to prosper and not harm you. It may be a fight but sweet friend it’s worth it. Despite how I felt about giving up school in 2020 God knew what I didn’t know. He still had more to teach me. If I had finished it in 2020 oh my goodness my coaching would look soooo different than it will once I’m done this time. I would’ve coached focusing on food rules, good and bad foods, foods to avoid, reaching the perfect weight, orthorexia basically, etc.
Today I’ve learned there are no good or bad foods, my body isn’t a project to be improved and constantly be rejecting and trying to make it fit into what the world deems good! My body IS GOOD regardless of what the world says. Today I want to help women with intuitive eating and body image issues and find freedom.
YOUR BODY IS GOOD.
YOUR BODY IS GOOD, TODAY! Not when you’ve reached a certain weight or size. JUST AS YOU ARE SWEET FRIEND!!
My mom was always on diet, so of course I fell into that. But we come in all shapes, color and sizes. Your size, shape, weight, hair color, skin color, eye color, boobie size🙈🤣🤷🏼♀️ is NOT and I repeat it does not dictate your worth and value. In a culture that objectifies women and if you don’t fall into a certain category you are deemed not worthy.
YOU are worthy!
If I don’t weigh a certain number then I’m not good enough. We let Hollywood and the world’s culture tell us to be a certain weight and we will accept you. I bought into that crap for waaaayyyy too long.
Can I just remind you of how great your Fathers love is for you and how He created you for purpose. He don’t make NO JUNK! (In my best southern accent😜)
There I said it…..YOU are not junk to be thrown aside because you don’t fit in a certain category. We are all different….since when is being different bad?? God made us all different because we all have gifts and talents we each need.
You weren’t meant to fit in a box! You were meant to flourish in your skin, not be a clone of someone “society” thinks is perfect.
NO!!! YOU were perfectly created by a perfect Creator.
I’m so thankful for 2020 and the lessons it’s taught me about God and myself. I’m thankful that He is teaching about having a healthy relationship with food and trusting Holy Spirit to led me. I’m thankful I can listen and hear from my body, more importantly I can trust it. I’m thankful I don’t have to weigh myself every day, I still may not like the number on the scale but I’m learning to love myself more. The real me. Enjoying a cookie or a Bundt cake without feeling shame and guilt is just bonus. Food was meant to nourish us but also for our enjoyment and pleasure.
I’ve rejected God’s creation…..myself….for far to long. I have made my mind up to trust the One who created me and loves me…..and you…unconditional with an everlasting love.
The pain and suffering has a place and a purpose, it was not meant to take you out. Yes it can if we let it, but you keep giving Him your worship. You keep pressing into the One who changes all things and works them out for your good. When that voice is soooo loud in your ear saying quite, give up, it’s too much, it may even tell you the world is better off without you so I might as well end it. Friend I’ve been there, but hear me tell you that YOU are loved, the pain does get better, trust in the One who heals. Do the hard things and press….press….and keep on pressing through the pain. Preach to yourself. Get up on the inside.
Praise proceeds the victory!! Hallelujah!🙏🙌
There’s blessing in the breaking and YOU ARE GONNA MAKE IT. You are anointed for hard things.
God bless you and I hope you have a blessed and wonderful week! You are a trophy of grace!
The kind of fasting I want is this: Remove the chains of oppression and the yoke of injustice, and let the oppressed go free. Share your food with the hungry and open your homes to the homeless poor. Give clothes to those who have nothing to wear, and do not refuse to help your own relatives. Then my favor will shine on you like the morning sun, and your wounds will be quickly healed. I will always be with you to save you; my presence will protect you on every side. Isaiah 58:6-8
I’ve learned so much as I walk out and get free from ED (eating disorder) 21 days of fasting and prayer have always been one of my favorite times of the year but also a time that caused me great pain and confusion. Over the last year though I’ve learned why.
Fasting can be very triggering for someone who suffers from an eating disorder.
This one word….Fasting….can cause my world to fall apart completely.
We study the life of Christ and his spiritual disciplines and we learn how important fasting and prayer are and how they can break the chains that bind us.
Prayer changes everything.
However, when one has an eating disorder fasting can destroy any and all progress you have made.
Restricting is NEVER GOOD under any circumstances.
Restricting TRIGGERS even done under the best of intentions.
Most people that do 21 days of prayer in January they might do the Daniel Fast, food altogether, sugar, 1- 2 meals a day, etc. But in my brain, that simple suggestion to skip or restrict a meal can flip a switch that cannot be easily turned off and send me spiraling.
I can remember over the years when I started realizing I was struggling in this area I just didn’t know why or how or what to do to help myself. 21 days of prayer and fasting would roll around and I decide to do Daniel fast and fail miserable. Enter shame and guilt.
Then I’d decided to fast sugar, same thing, I’d fail miserably. Enter more shame and guilt. I’d ask myself time and time again “Why can’t I do this?”
I know people mean well but there are some people that will shame you for not fasting what they’re fasting. That happened to me countless times. Let me just say I don’t need someone else heaping more shame and guilt on me I’ve done enough of that myself. You should NEVER shame anyone for doing something differently or not doing something you are doing because you have no idea what they are going through.
I read somewhere, “In many cases, asking a recovering eating disordered individual to fast for a single meal would be like inviting a recovering alcoholic to drink a beer: It is absolutely disastrous.” Let me just say it’s VERY TRUE!
I’m so thankful in so many ways for 2020. I believe I’ve grown more in my eating disorder which is mind blowing because during a pandemic eating disorders as well as other addictions and disorders were skyrocketing. Not to say, I didn’t have my challenges but I praise God He was moving and working in me and through me to gain more freedom instead of losing freedom.
So as we start this season of 21 Days of Fasting and Prayer, FOOD IS NOT AN OPTION FOR ME and even though it’s taken me a really long time to believe this….It’s ok!
I know we are called to Fast and Pray it’s all over the Bible. It was through 21 days of Fasting and Prayer when God finally said “Nicole, now is the time to deal with this secret problem you have.” He told me to throw out my diuretics and laxatives that I had been abusing for sooooo many years and I was set free right there! Haven’t touched another laxative or diuretic since. So I KNOW fasting and prayer work. It’s just mine and maybe yours needs to look differently and ITS OK.
We have to protect our own recovery. I have worked soooo incredibly hard to get to where I’m at and I have such a long way to go but you best believe I’m protective of myself.
Fasting is simply laying aside SELF. Who couldn’t benefit from that, right?
Fasting is clearing out the clutter that we’ve let in and allowing God in those places. I’m sure there are many areas we can come up with to give up or Fast from that don’t involve food.
Fasting is about growing closer to God.
More of Him and less of me.
Fasting is NOT a diet and some people use it to lose weight at the beginning of the year but don’t work on the drawing closer to Him part.
Ideas of things you can FAST:
Online Shopping 😱🙈 my hubby would prolly like me to do this one LOL😜
Negative Self Talk
Don’t Eat Out
There’s so many things you could Fast instead of food. It’s not about what your giving up it’s that you are dying to self so that Christ can be glorified through us.
Maybe, just maybe, me walking in my recovery, following my meal plan for someone with ED….maybe MY FAST. See now I’m learning self care and how to nourish myself….that’s a sacrifice and takes a lot of time and prayer.
So yes, I’m excited about 21 Days of Fasting and Prayer! But I WILL NOT be fasting food in any way. My ED recovery is to precious to me and I’ve come to far for that. I look forward to seeing what our Mighty God will do during this season.
I’m believing and expecting great things for you and for me. God bless you and I hope you have a wonderful week!
I still believe You’re moving. I still believe You’re speaking God, I believe You’re working All things for good. I fix my eyes on Heaven God, I receive Your vision God, I believe You’re working All things for good. We sing come alive in the name of Jesus. Come alive in the name of Jesus. This is a house of miracles. We bring everything to the feet of Jesus. Everything in the name of Jesus. This is a house of miracles💗🙏🙌💯⚓️
Hey y’all !! What’s up? What’s up? I haven’t been here in a while, lots going on in our neck of the woods. How about y’all?
My hubby is STILL working from home y’all! Prolly no plans to go back in the office till the first of the year.
My Daddy is in the process of moving here so we are trying to find him a place and get him settled.
Had some close family members with some serious health and my grandmother past away about a month or so ago. No one was able to be with her and she died all alone and I think that just made it more difficult. There are some other things but I can’t share them. Just a difficult season here, which I know it is for many of you.
Had a lot on my mind as we’ve being going through all these different things. Add in my health issues and school, no alone time, being stuck at home 🤪 and the Rona I’ve found myself frozen at times, maybe you can relate to that.
Some of you know I’ve been in school to become a Holistic Health and Wellness practitioner which I’m so excited about this journey the Lord has had me on. It’s just taken me a little longer than I thought it would but it’s ok Imma get there. It’s ALL in Gods timing.
Extending grace to myself is so much harder than it is to do for someone else. I’ve had a lot going on around me and IN me. Some of you know I’ve struggled with ED…….eating disorder. Sometimes ED screams so loud and other days I feel victorious and it’s so quite. I’m in counseling with a nutritionist who is awesome but imma just say it’s hard work and it’s an every day battle.
A battle to NOT weigh myself everyday.
A battle to eat lunch or not eat lunch.
A battle to not restrict food.
A battle to not eat a bunch of cookies or a big cup of Cheeseballs.
It’s just a battle.
I know the battle belongs to the Lord but sometimes we’ve done things for so long they become ingrained in us and they become a habit and it is a process of overcoming.
So where am I at today? And this sooooo soooo important to recall these things.
I’m not where I wanna be but I’m not where I use to be either.
Well….I’m no longer abusing laxatives or diuretics. I haven’t done that in 2 years or more. That’s a big ole W!!! 🎉
There were days I would wake up and decide I’m not going to eat today and I wouldn’t. Now I’ve come to realize that restricting food was a form of punishment to myself. I can tell you that thought hasn’t crossed my mind in months, PRAISE THE LORD!! 🙏🙌🎉
I’m not weighing myself everyday. Y’all literally don’t even know what an amazing accomplishment this is. I would weigh myself everyday, sometimes 2-3 times a day. In order to do this though I had to remove the scale from the bathroom and outta my sight. The first week was so hard I almost got up in the middle of the night to weigh myself, I know it sounds crazy. But that’s ED for ya! I did really well for about 2 or 3 months and not even sure what happened but I decided to go to it’s deep dark hiding place and pulled that evil scale out and stepped on it. THAT WAS A BAD MISTAKE FOR ME! It set me over the top because I had actually gained a little weight. I got in all kinds of fear and old patterns started showing up. Imma do this, Imma do that. I’m not gonna eat this or that. Imma exercise for X amount. That’s ED behavior and it’s what I’m trying to overcome.
But here’s the thing, I’m finally allowing my body and metabolism to heal from all the dieting and self destructive behavior I’ve done to my body so that’s going to happen before it gets better. You can’t put your body through hell for years and years and expect it to perform a peak condition in just a few months. NO it took me a lifetime to get here. It’s a healing process kinda like how our hearts have to heal after being broken. I could just choose something quick and fast because so often quick and fast works, we see results but its temporary and we find ourselves right back in the same place 6 months or 2 years from now at least that’s been my experience. At this place in my life I’m choosing healing and finally getting to the root and freedom even if it takes me a lifetime.
So my whole purpose when the Lord lead me to my counselor, Hope who lead me to the nutritionist, Amie. I said to her I don’t want to lose weight…..well I mean the flesh part of me does but the inner man of me wants freedom and healing and to finally have a healthy relationship with food AND the scale AND love my body AND not curse it.
Far to long I’ve gained my worth and value over what I saw in the mirror and what number I saw on the scale. You may not be able to relate to that particularly. For you it might be how your house looks, the clothes your wear, your job or title, car you drive, your kids, neighborhood you live in, etc. At some point most of us at have tried to find our value in other things. I’m hear to tell you it will LEAVE YOU EMPTY and searching for more my friend!!
Only Jesus can feel that hole that we try so desperately to fill with other things.
Another BIG W 🎉 is I’m eating lunch almost every single day. I haven’t done that in yeeeaaaarrrssss y’all! That’s incredible! But let me tell you how scary that is. To add in eating lunch….a meal I haven’t ate in years AND NOT WEIGHING MYSELF. That’s straight up dope right there!! Lol 😂 But also sooo scary.
I’ve felt for so many years the Lord pull me to Health and Wellness Coaching and Holistic things because I’ve been through so much health wise and it’s always fascinated me.
It’s been my passion AND MY STRUGGLE.
Only GOD can turn, a MESS into a MESSAGE, a TEST into a TESTIMONY, a TRIAL into a TRIUMPH, a VICTIM into a VICTORY.
Let me ask you, do you know what your passionate about?
What causes you pain?
What has been your struggle?
Have you been suffering alone?
Let me just say that’s exactly what the enemy wants you to do is isolate yourself and make you feel all alone when in reality there are many others with the same struggles you have. You just need to find someone you can be vulnerable with, that’s why small groups are so important. Gotta get that plug in lol. We are better together!
This is what I can tell you, it may not make sense but what you’ve struggled with, what has caused you agonizing pain, what’s caused you to isolate is more than likely also something your passionate about and I’ll go even further to say that it could even be YOUR CALLING! Of course, only you know that. But very often that’s the case.
For me sometimes the voice of doubt and insecurity is so loud in my ears….Did God really tell you to do this Nicole? People want somebody who has it all together and knows their stuff. That’s what I tell myself but truth in my heart says, I want someone who’s been in the pit themselves and who knows exactly where I’ve been or where I’m at. I’m willing to bet that’s what you want too.
I read something today that so spoke to me because there are so many days as I go through this process that I feel unqualified and I feel like why on earth would someone ever listen to me I’m STILL STRUGGLING and quite honestly it may always be the “throne in my flesh” but I WILL continue on my journey of wholeness and freedom.
This was the devotion blog. “Currently, I’m in a season where anorexia is trying to win again. Let me share some truth with you. What ever battle you’re facing today, whether it’s comparison, doubt, pride, lust, self harm, fill in the blank ____. This does not define you! My eating disorder does not define me. It’s apart of my story and my story is still being written, Your story is still being written!”
This is as real as it gets right here folks. She’s STILL struggling and she’s STILL helping and encouraging people. I LOVE THAT SO MUCH! “It’s part of her story,” just like it’s part of MY STORY AND YOUR STORY. We don’t have to have it all together to help someone we just need to be willing and available.
What I hope and pray people see is the real me, the one who will sit down with you and take the mask off and say “Hey, this is my struggle too and precious friend you’re not alone.” This is me in my brokenness….my passion and my struggles!
I AM A TROPHY OF GRACE AND SO ARE YOU SWEET FRIEND!