Category Archives: Eating disorder

Fasting and Eating Disorders

The kind of fasting I want is this: Remove the chains of oppression and the yoke of injustice, and let the oppressed go free. Share your food with the hungry and open your homes to the homeless poor. Give clothes to those who have nothing to wear, and do not refuse to help your own relatives. Then my favor will shine on you like the morning sun, and your wounds will be quickly healed. I will always be with you to save you; my presence will protect you on every side. Isaiah 58:6-8

I’ve learned so much as I walk out and get free from ED (eating disorder) 21 days of fasting and prayer have always been one of my favorite times of the year but also a time that caused me great pain and confusion. Over the last year though I’ve learned why.

Fasting can be very triggering for someone who suffers from an eating disorder.

This one word….Fasting….can cause my world to fall apart completely.

We study the life of Christ and his spiritual disciplines and we learn how important fasting and prayer are and how they can break the chains that bind us.

Prayer changes everything.

However, when one has an eating disorder fasting can destroy any and all progress you have made.

Restricting is NEVER GOOD under any circumstances.

Restricting TRIGGERS even done under the best of intentions.

Most people that do 21 days of prayer in January they might do the Daniel Fast, food altogether, sugar, 1- 2 meals a day, etc. But in my brain, that simple suggestion to skip or restrict a meal can flip a switch that cannot be easily turned off and send me spiraling.

I can remember over the years when I started realizing I was struggling in this area I just didn’t know why or how or what to do to help myself. 21 days of prayer and fasting would roll around and I decide to do Daniel fast and fail miserable. Enter shame and guilt.

Then I’d decided to fast sugar, same thing, I’d fail miserably. Enter more shame and guilt. I’d ask myself time and time again “Why can’t I do this?”

I know people mean well but there are some people that will shame you for not fasting what they’re fasting. That happened to me countless times. Let me just say I don’t need someone else heaping more shame and guilt on me I’ve done enough of that myself. You should NEVER shame anyone for doing something differently or not doing something you are doing because you have no idea what they are going through.

I read somewhere, “In many cases, asking a recovering eating disordered individual to fast for a single meal would be like inviting a recovering alcoholic to drink a beer: It is absolutely disastrous.” Let me just say it’s VERY TRUE!

I’m so thankful in so many ways for 2020. I believe I’ve grown more in my eating disorder which is mind blowing because during a pandemic eating disorders as well as other addictions and disorders were skyrocketing. Not to say, I didn’t have my challenges but I praise God He was moving and working in me and through me to gain more freedom instead of losing freedom.

So as we start this season of 21 Days of Fasting and Prayer, FOOD IS NOT AN OPTION FOR ME and even though it’s taken me a really long time to believe this….It’s ok!

I know we are called to Fast and Pray it’s all over the Bible. It was through 21 days of Fasting and Prayer when God finally said “Nicole, now is the time to deal with this secret problem you have.” He told me to throw out my diuretics and laxatives that I had been abusing for sooooo many years and I was set free right there! Haven’t touched another laxative or diuretic since. So I KNOW fasting and prayer work. It’s just mine and maybe yours needs to look differently and ITS OK.

We have to protect our own recovery. I have worked soooo incredibly hard to get to where I’m at and I have such a long way to go but you best believe I’m protective of myself.

Fasting is simply laying aside SELF. Who couldn’t benefit from that, right?

Fasting is clearing out the clutter that we’ve let in and allowing God in those places. I’m sure there are many areas we can come up with to give up or Fast from that don’t involve food.

Fasting is about growing closer to God.

More of Him and less of me.

Fasting is NOT a diet and some people use it to lose weight at the beginning of the year but don’t work on the drawing closer to Him part.

Ideas of things you can FAST:

Social Media

Gossip

TV

Video Games

Online Shopping 😱🙈 my hubby would prolly like me to do this one LOL😜

Secular Music

Negative Self Talk

Don’t Eat Out

There’s so many things you could Fast instead of food. It’s not about what your giving up it’s that you are dying to self so that Christ can be glorified through us.

Maybe, just maybe, me walking in my recovery, following my meal plan for someone with ED….maybe MY FAST. See now I’m learning self care and how to nourish myself….that’s a sacrifice and takes a lot of time and prayer.

So yes, I’m excited about 21 Days of Fasting and Prayer! But I WILL NOT be fasting food in any way. My ED recovery is to precious to me and I’ve come to far for that. I look forward to seeing what our Mighty God will do during this season.

I’m believing and expecting great things for you and for me. God bless you and I hope you have a wonderful week!

Big hugs,

Nicole💗

I still believe You’re moving. I still believe You’re speaking God, I believe You’re working All things for good. I fix my eyes on Heaven God, I receive Your vision God, I believe You’re working All things for good. We sing come alive in the name of Jesus. Come alive in the name of Jesus. This is a house of miracles. We bring everything to the feet of Jesus. Everything in the name of Jesus. This is a house of miracles💗🙏🙌💯⚓️

Healing….My Word Of The Year

Hey y’all! How is your year going so far? We are in the middle of 21 days of prayer. It’s Ahhhmazzing! Believing God for many things this year.

What are you believing God for this year?

Healing is my word for this year. Do you have one? If so what is it? I’d love to hear from you.

Joy was my word last year. So funny how God knows exactly what we need when we need it. Last year was an extremely difficult year for me. God knew JOY was what I would. He knew the things I was going to go through were going to be difficult and I would need strength in order to persevere. I needed to find JOY amidst the trials.

The JOY of the Lord is our strength.

I needed JOY to keep going and get through every day.

As I said, healing is my word this year for several reasons. Some I’ll share and some are private.

One is, I need physical healing in my body from multiple things.

But I also need healing from this eating disorder I’ve struggled with for so many years. I’ve been set free from using the diuretics and laxatives everyday, praise God! That is a miracle in itself 🙏🏻🙌🏻 But I still have my daily struggles. He’s not done with me yet and he’s not done with you either sweet friend. He’s been delivering me from glory to glory but I’m ready to be COMPLETELY FREE! COMPLETELY HEALED! Maybe that’s you too!

There are relationships in my life that need healing…Ones that I can’t do anything about.

Loved ones who need Jesus.

Loved ones who are sick and need healing.

Loved ones who are making wrong choices.

Loved ones who are heartbroken.

Loved ones who just need a miracle.

Relationships that need restoration.

Ones that only God can fix it.

One thing I know though is that nothing is to big for my God and nothing is impossible for Him!

He’s the God of the IMPOSSIBLE.

He’s the WAYMAKER!

Verse of the Year:

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. Psalm 103:2-5

God bless you sweet friends and if you need prayer, I would be honored to pray for you. Have a blessed and wonderful day.

Big hugs,

Nicole💗

Song of the Year:

Waymaker- Leeland

Even when I don’t see it, You’re working
Even when I don’t feel it, You’re working
You never stop, You never stop working
You never stop, You never stop working
Way maker, miracle worker, promise keeper
Light in the darkness, my God
That is who You are
Way maker, miracle worker, promise keeper
Light in the darkness, my God
That is who You are

https://youtu.be/iJCV_2H9xD0

Brokenness-We Are Better Together

Brokenness- We are Better together

Lately, I’ve been thinking, ya know things aren’t always as they seem. We look at people and think just by what they look like or what they have determines the life they have. Rich or poor or somewhere in the middle we all have issues and broken places in our lives….you’re not exempt to brokenness and the trials of life. You can try and fix it up and disguise it but it’s still there and yet we look at Sally and think man she’s got it going on. She dresses so cute, perfect skin, perfect weight, perfect hair, great family, car, job, etc. but you have no idea what’s she’s struggling with. Maybe she’s dealing with a loss, financial need, health issues, an eating disorder, some sort of addiction in her family or loved one. Maybe she’s waiting and longing for God to give her the baby they’ve fervently prayed for for so long. Maybe just maybe she’s carrying around guilt and shame from something that happened to her in her childhood, and she’s doing everything she can to just get up every day and keep going. But we think just because she looks good on the outside and looks so put together it must be nice to be her. Perfect life, no problems but that couldn’t be further from the truth. You never know what someone’s going through.

On the other hand, you have Lucy over here and she’s struggling but to the point that it’s visible to those around her. She looks worn down and broken. She looks depressed and defeated. The struggle of yet another day is here. How am I going to make it through? We can overlook her too because we don’t know what to say or do, or maybe we can’t relate. Or maybe we just don’t want to take the time because we’re to busy. We can even be deceived in thinking she needs more prayer and love than the one who smiles and looks all put together. I think both of these are incorrect, we all have a story, we all have things we are dealing with, it just may look different on the outside.

We all have problems and we all have a need for a Savior and we ALL have needs that ONLY JESUS CAN MEET, it doesn’t matter how you dress it up.

Brokenness is brokenness!

A new car, new house, another pill, another drink, a new Lilly Pulitzer dress, Coach purse, etc it doesn’t make the pain or brokenness go away. Don’t get me wrong I myself am a purse junkie and I love to shop. But it won’t fix the empty void that’s on the inside us. We can dress it up or down all you want. It’s. Still. There. The way I see it, we need to take the mask off and just be you and I’ll be me. Be who God created you to be. Allow Him into those broken places to bring healing in your life, in turn you can help someone else. We need each other. We were built for relationships. The struggles I have had or have, I can more easily see in someone else who might be going through the same thing. We are better together.

When we bring our brokenness to Jesus He’s able to do something with it. He gives Beauty for ashes. It seems that the pain or the breaking is what we fear and try to avoid at all cost. But there’s blessings in the brokenness. There’s wholeness and healing in the broken parts of our life when we give them to Jesus. “He heals the broken hearted and bandages their wounds.”

My prayer for you today that in your brokenness you realize you are not struggling alone. There’s a Savior waiting for you, waiting for you to give him your pain and brokenness. He’s longing to give you beauty for ashes. We all have struggles, mine may be different than yours but nonetheless it’s brokenness and when we can be real and take the mask off, we realize we are not alone.

We are better together.

May you feel his presence and love in a way you’ve never felt before. May He strengthen your inner man and give you peace and joy and heal you every where you hurt precious one. Amen 🙏🏻

Much love and big hugs,

Nicole💗