My name is Nicole and I started Trophy of Grace in hopes to encourage others going through tough times in life. See I've been through the fire like many of you sometimes I've done it well and other times not so well.....but I'm still her! I was raised in alcoholism, struggled with enabling and codependency, I was molested as a child, I have struggled with an eating disorder and many health issues. But through it all God has been with me every step of the way and because of His love for me, I have persevered not unscathed, I have scars. But my scars tell a story that remind of when life tried to break me but failed.
God calls me daughter of the King, His beautiful masterpiece, the apple of His eye, a Trophy of grace and that's what I hope you come to see through this journey we take together. No matter where you are you are never to far from God, nothing is to hard for Him and no pit is to deep that He can't scope down and lift you up precious one. He loves you with an everlasting love and will never forsake you. So join me as we overcome the trials of life and take back what the enemy has stolen. Be blessed! Big hugs💗
Good morning y’all! Hope you are doing well today. Do you do a Word Of The Year? I’ve been doing it for many years now and I love looking back to my words and the years and seeing how they fit, it always blows my mind.
This year after much prayer I’ve decided that COURAGEOUS is my word. Why did I choose it? Well, I’ll be honest there were many reasons why I choose it but manly because of one 4 letter word…..FEAR.
Fear has gripped me since I was a little child. I didn’t have what I would call a stable home life. It was one of chaos. Don’t get me wrong, I know my mom did the best she could with what she knew. But in her own ways she taught me to be fearful of so many things. Still to this day she tries to put her fears on me, only today I know better and don’t receive it. Over the years I have walked through many things and learned to “Do it afraid” but 2020 showed me there was still some fear in me that needed to be dealt with.
I refuse to live my life in fear.
God kept speaking to my heart Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not be terrified or dismayed (intimidated), for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Fear is from the devil and the devil is a LIAR! It starts off as a little thought and before you know our emotions are all wrapped up i it and it becomes soooo strong and can actually overwhelm us. For some it cause panic attacks and others it can cause to shrink back. That’s why we have to be so careful with our emotions, they are fickle and ALWAYS CHANGING. We can’t be ruled by our emotions.
Proverbs 23:7 tells us that “as [a man] thinks in his heart, so is he“. I like what Joyce Meyer says: “Where the mind goes, the man follows.” That is so true. God wants us to walk by faith and the devil wants us to walk in paralyzing fear.
We have to meditate on the Word of God and renew our minds to be free from fear and be COURAGEOUS.
Ephesians 2:10 talks about how when we were born again we actually become recreated in Christ Jesus, [born anew] that we may do good works which God predestined…for us…[living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us to live] So let’s think about that for just a minute, if we are “recreated in Christ” whatever Jesus is…..we are too my friend. He is strong and IN HIMwe are strong.
1 John 4:17 says As He is so are we in this world.
You are all the things Jesus is.
So the why do we shrink back in fear? False. Evidence. Appearing. Real.
I think it’s because we look at ourselves and what we are not. We look at how far we have to go. We look at our circumstances and think NOTHING WILL EVER CHANGE. And finally, I think listen to what others think or have said to us or about us. They try and put out our fire on the inside to make themselves feel better but COURAGE is acting against fear. Acting against the naysayers. Acting on what God says about YOU. Not letting fear control you.
Do It Afraid my friend.
Be Strong and Courageous.
How Can I Be Courageous?
1. Put a name to your fear. I learned in Alanon how to name my fear and do a Fear inventory. It’s actually an AA step but my Alanon sponsor used the AA Big Book with me as well. I may not have been an alcoholic or drink but I was raised in it and lived with it so of course you pick up the “ISMS”
2. Surrender. This may take doing over and over again. Nothing is wrong with that, often times we give it up and take it back. Give back to God again.
3. Speak God’s Promises over your life. His promises are YES! And AMEN!! And they are for YOU my friend.
4. Renew Your Mind. Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; 2 Corinthians 10:5
So this year when those fearful thoughts come to my mind I will put a name to my fear. I will surrender. I will speak Gods promises over my life and keep renewing my mind.
I WILL BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS AND KICK FEAR TO THE CURB! And I hope you will do.
What is your Word Of The Year and why? I’d love to hear from you.
The kind of fasting I want is this: Remove the chains of oppression and the yoke of injustice, and let the oppressed go free. Share your food with the hungry and open your homes to the homeless poor. Give clothes to those who have nothing to wear, and do not refuse to help your own relatives. Then my favor will shine on you like the morning sun, and your wounds will be quickly healed. I will always be with you to save you; my presence will protect you on every side. Isaiah 58:6-8
I’ve learned so much as I walk out and get free from ED (eating disorder) 21 days of fasting and prayer have always been one of my favorite times of the year but also a time that caused me great pain and confusion. Over the last year though I’ve learned why.
Fasting can be very triggering for someone who suffers from an eating disorder.
This one word….Fasting….can cause my world to fall apart completely.
We study the life of Christ and his spiritual disciplines and we learn how important fasting and prayer are and how they can break the chains that bind us.
Prayer changes everything.
However, when one has an eating disorder fasting can destroy any and all progress you have made.
Restricting is NEVER GOOD under any circumstances.
Restricting TRIGGERS even done under the best of intentions.
Most people that do 21 days of prayer in January they might do the Daniel Fast, food altogether, sugar, 1- 2 meals a day, etc. But in my brain, that simple suggestion to skip or restrict a meal can flip a switch that cannot be easily turned off and send me spiraling.
I can remember over the years when I started realizing I was struggling in this area I just didn’t know why or how or what to do to help myself. 21 days of prayer and fasting would roll around and I decide to do Daniel fast and fail miserable. Enter shame and guilt.
Then I’d decided to fast sugar, same thing, I’d fail miserably. Enter more shame and guilt. I’d ask myself time and time again “Why can’t I do this?”
I know people mean well but there are some people that will shame you for not fasting what they’re fasting. That happened to me countless times. Let me just say I don’t need someone else heaping more shame and guilt on me I’ve done enough of that myself. You should NEVER shame anyone for doing something differently or not doing something you are doing because you have no idea what they are going through.
I read somewhere, “In many cases, asking a recovering eating disordered individual to fast for a single meal would be like inviting a recovering alcoholic to drink a beer: It is absolutely disastrous.” Let me just say it’s VERY TRUE!
I’m so thankful in so many ways for 2020. I believe I’ve grown more in my eating disorder which is mind blowing because during a pandemic eating disorders as well as other addictions and disorders were skyrocketing. Not to say, I didn’t have my challenges but I praise God He was moving and working in me and through me to gain more freedom instead of losing freedom.
So as we start this season of 21 Days of Fasting and Prayer, FOOD IS NOT AN OPTION FOR ME and even though it’s taken me a really long time to believe this….It’s ok!
I know we are called to Fast and Pray it’s all over the Bible. It was through 21 days of Fasting and Prayer when God finally said “Nicole, now is the time to deal with this secret problem you have.” He told me to throw out my diuretics and laxatives that I had been abusing for sooooo many years and I was set free right there! Haven’t touched another laxative or diuretic since. So I KNOW fasting and prayer work. It’s just mine and maybe yours needs to look differently and ITS OK.
We have to protect our own recovery. I have worked soooo incredibly hard to get to where I’m at and I have such a long way to go but you best believe I’m protective of myself.
Fasting is simply laying aside SELF. Who couldn’t benefit from that, right?
Fasting is clearing out the clutter that we’ve let in and allowing God in those places. I’m sure there are many areas we can come up with to give up or Fast from that don’t involve food.
Fasting is about growing closer to God.
More of Him and less of me.
Fasting is NOT a diet and some people use it to lose weight at the beginning of the year but don’t work on the drawing closer to Him part.
Ideas of things you can FAST:
Online Shopping 😱🙈 my hubby would prolly like me to do this one LOL😜
Negative Self Talk
Don’t Eat Out
There’s so many things you could Fast instead of food. It’s not about what your giving up it’s that you are dying to self so that Christ can be glorified through us.
Maybe, just maybe, me walking in my recovery, following my meal plan for someone with ED….maybe MY FAST. See now I’m learning self care and how to nourish myself….that’s a sacrifice and takes a lot of time and prayer.
So yes, I’m excited about 21 Days of Fasting and Prayer! But I WILL NOT be fasting food in any way. My ED recovery is to precious to me and I’ve come to far for that. I look forward to seeing what our Mighty God will do during this season.
I’m believing and expecting great things for you and for me. God bless you and I hope you have a wonderful week!
I still believe You’re moving. I still believe You’re speaking God, I believe You’re working All things for good. I fix my eyes on Heaven God, I receive Your vision God, I believe You’re working All things for good. We sing come alive in the name of Jesus. Come alive in the name of Jesus. This is a house of miracles. We bring everything to the feet of Jesus. Everything in the name of Jesus. This is a house of miracles💗🙏🙌💯⚓️
Anyone else as happy as me to say goodbye to 2020? LOL , what a year it’s been right? How many times have you said “It’s fine. I’m fine?” It’s become a joke at our house. I got my hubby a dumpster fire ornament for Christmas and he loved it, LOL🤣
But all joking aside we are headed into a new year.
A new season.
A fresh start!
I jokingly said before I agree to 2021 I need to see some terms and conditions. Ok, ok, ok that was the last one 🤣 I’m pretty sure that’s partly how I made it through this past year was all the funny memes.
Laughter is the best medicine.
What do you think of when I say New Years resolutions? Here are just a few. Number 1 and 2 are always neck and neck
Get a hobby
Save more money
Quit smoking/drink less
Spend more time with family
Let me preface this by saying there is nothing wrong with doing New Years resolutions at all but I think it often promotes an all or nothing mindset. Which then turns things into good and bad categories. Which can then turn things into guilt and shame. I don’t know about you but I don’t need anymore guilt and shame?
So I’m offering up a different way to look at New Years resolutions….a non diet resolutions…..especially for those who struggle with eating disorders or who have been on the yo-yo diet train for many years.
Most of you know I have struggled with ED (eating disorder) but this will be my first year that I haven’t had some sorta diet related New Years resolutions that I would make a pack and fail shortly later lol.
This year I’m doing life differently.
1. Practicing Self Care
That can look differently for everyone. This one is challenging for me and I’m still learning this one. But managing your everyday stress is vital. My physical therapist has been teaching me breathing exercises and it’s been very helpful. Prayer time and worship music are also vital. You may only be able to carve out 15-30 mins a day to relax and care for yourself but do something that you enjoy.
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
2. Stop Comparing Yourself
I could stay here FOREVER simply because this is something I’ve done for soooo many years. I just want you to know YOU are beautiful. YOU are unique and YOU are NOT meant to be someone else. Here’s the thing while I love Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, you are only seeing someone’s highlights. You don’t see that they took 20 pictures to post that one and they filtered it, etc. So we look at their life and think everything is all perfect when in reality it’s not. Get comfortable with who you are and where you’re at. Easier said than done I know. But God created you and doesn’t want a clone of you. You have unique gifts and talents that ONLY YOU HAVE.
Each of you must examine your own actions. Then you can be proud of your own accomplishments without comparing yourself to others. Assume your own responsibility. Galatians 6:4-5
3. Cultivating A Grateful Heart
Take a few minutes every day and just be thankful for what you have. You may not have everything you want but looking for things to be thankful for can totally change your perspective. Start small if you have too. “Today I’m thankful for hot water.” There are people all over the world that don’t have hot water and even water at all. Perspective my friend.
And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Col 3:15-17
4. The Should’s and Shouldn’t
Are you familiar with the Should’s and Shouldn’t? Ohhhh man, I sure am. Condemnation has hung around for far to long.
I must be perfect.
I have been here for far to long. Instead use words like “I may” “I can” and “it’s ok.”
These words bring freedom instead of legalism and condemnation.
“I’m free to eat this or that.”
“This category of food isn’t all bad, I can eat all food.”
“I can live a balanced life.”
“It’s OK if I feel this way.”
This brings freedom my friend!! It has taken me a long time to get to this place and I’m not “perfect” at it but I’m so thankful to be on a road to recovery and for God leading me and growing more every day.
There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1
5. Setting Healthy Boundaries
This one is tough right? Why you ask? Because it’s hard to say “NO” for most of us, we don’t want to disappoint people or let them down. So that makes it easy to get caught up in people pleasing. We say yes to things we really don’t want to do and then resent people and start harboring unforgiveness and we get caught in a vicious cycle. I’m waaaaaaay to familiar with this one. See because of the emotions wrapped up into people pleasing it’s also relates back to food very easily.
People pleasing has been my middle name, praise God I’ve gotten better! Be true to yourself my friend. Yes, helping others is good but not to the determent of your health and the growth of the other person. Often times we hinder others the benefit and pain of growing. Learn NO! It’s a beautiful word and something great to work on this year.
“Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where i end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership. Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom. Taking responsibility for my life opens up many different options. Boundaries help us keep the good in and the bad out. Setting boundaries inevitably involves taking responsibility for your choices. You are the one who makes them. You are the one who must live with their consequences. And you are the one who may be keeping yourself from making the choices you could be happy with. We must own our own thoughts and clarify distorted thinking.” Henry Cloud
6. Negative Self Talk
Mmmm, this one right here!! I am my own worst critic. Can you relate? This is one I’ve had to work at sooooo much. I still battle with this.
Renewing your mind is CRUCIAL! Speaking LIFE! Getting in agreement with what God’s word says about you instead of what that negative committee is saying about you and your situation.
Change your focus. Set your mind on things above and keep it set….Col 3:2
This will be hard work but thoughts will come and go but His word gives us instructions on what to do when those negative thoughts come….and they will. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5).
Stay on your guard my friend. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8).
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8
In closing, I hope I have made you think beyond the typical weigh loss goal of a New Years resolutions. My prayer for you is that you will have a good relationship with Lord first and foremost and then yourself. You can’t get away from yourself lol. You are with you every where you go.
Being able to get off that Yo-Yo diet train is so important. Having a healthy relationship with food and yourself is so important. Loving yourself, embracing who you are, flaws and all is freeing. I’m not totally there yet but praise God I’m not where I use to be!
What a year 2020 has been in my ED recovery, I’m SOOOO beyond thankful and truly blown away by the progress but more importantly I’m not focusing on where I’m not and how much further I have to go.
2021 I WELCOME YOU! I look forward to seeing what God will do and how He will us me and how I will grow and change more.
I’m excited to have my first year with NO DIET RESOLUTIONS!
GO GOD!! Do it!! You are gonna do AMAZING THINGS THIS YEAR I KNOW IT!!
I don’t know what you might be going through, but I just wanted to encourage you today. The storms of life come to each one of us but Jesus is there with you…every step of the way. You may feel alone but you are not alone.
It’s because of your trials you are being made stronger with every wave crashes against you.
Keep breathing my friend.
Just take one more step.
I can promise there will be times when we all want to quit. Wanting to quite is human nature and totally understandable. You just want the pain or the problems to go away. Been there, done that…..bought the T-shirt.
We all get weary and tired, often times it’s during the weariness we stop doing the life giving things that help keep us going. We say to ourselves, “What’s the use?” I totally get it. But when we’re tired we don’t always make the right decisions because our mind is cloudy and our feelings are all discombobulated. Then we forget our purpose and that’s never good!
Lots of things happen in the middle of our trials and it’s especially important to not quite and keep going. With each crushing blow we can doubt the love of God. Have you ever doubted the love of God? I know I have. We can also doubt he can cause anything to work out for our good! I’m guilty of thinking , “There is absolutely NO WAY God can turn this around or make it turn out for me good.” We can think he’s forgotten us too. Oh, but can I just tell you “Precious one, He hasn’t forgotten YOU. He sees YOU and Oh how He loves YOU and with a resounding YESSS! He can work ALL things out for your good…..And He will!”
This moment, this trial, this storm….it’s time to find your BRAVE.
It’s time to keep going!
It’s NOT time to quit and give up.
YOU ARE ANOINTED FOR HARD.
Understandably, you may look defeated and even feel defeated but YOU ARE A CHILD OF THE KING. Walking in VICTORY AND PURPOSE.
DEFEAT IS NOT YOUR NAME!
OVERCOMER IS YOUR NAME!
Perseverance is in your blood.
You were born for such a time as this.
We gotta get in agreement with His word and say what He says about us.
Prophecy to those dry bones!
Speak life to the broken places in your life.
The power of life and death is in YOUR TONGUE.
Hope y’all have a blessed and wonderful weekend.
The word says “For the spirit of heaviness” “Put on the garment of praise” That’s how we fight our battles (yeah) This is how I fight my battles. It may look like I’m surrounded. But I’m surrounded by You. This is how I fight my battles🔥🙌💗🙏💯
What a year 2020 has been! For you, for me, for us….so many challenges it has brought. BUT BLESSED are those who persevere under trial, because when they have stood the test, they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
God is the Promise Keeper!
Some days are so hard but let me encourage you today, YOU are amazing….God loves you and HE’S NOT DONE WITH YOU YET!!
Yes this year has shown us some things about ourselves, and about others….but let’s use that to keep pushing forward. To allow God to do a mighty work in your life.
I personally believe 2020 is a spring board of what God has in store for each of us. It’s been a sifting time, breaking up the clumps and lumps in our life….and yes sometimes there is many siftings…..LOL 2020 we have seen that.
Oh, but sweet friend Gods gotta SIFT BEFORE HE SHIFTS US INTO THE NEXT SEASON.
There’s a shift about to take place! Are you ready?
Is there anything in your life that needs to be sifted just a little bit more before your shift comes?
God is eager to take you higher so He can release some things in your life you’ve been praying for.
Don’t resist the sifting because God is working mightily in your life and longs to do more.
Preserve my friend!
BLESSED are those who persevere under trial, because when they have stood the test, they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. James 1:12
God bless you and I hope you have a blessed and wonderful day!
One word from You Things change on Your authority. Your word it’s true. Things change on you authority. My fight is not my own It’s end is in Your hands. I worship You because I know all things. Must bow to Your command. Will heaven not prevail And strongholds not be moved. Will spirits not be silenced And cower at His rule. For if my God is for me Then what have I to fear. And I will not deny Him The glory that is His💗🔥🙌💯🗡🙏
Good morning y’all! Hope you are doing well. I feel like I have a word from the Lord for you today. So much is going on around us in these crazy times but God says its time to ENTER IN sweet friend!
Enter into the promises of God!
Enter into His Presence!
You are about to see the supernatural come to pass! You are right on the edge so DON’T GIVE UP!!
Keep PRESSING IN!
Keep asking, keep seeking, and keep knocking!!
Those things you’ve been praying for, that breakthrough it’s going to supernaturally come to pass!
God is working even when you can’t see it.
We need to stand on the promises of His Word because NOTHING is to big for Him.
Whatever you’re going through, it’s NO match for our Almighty God!
“One word from You Things change on Your authority Your word, it’s true Things change on Your authority One word; from You.”
The enemy has come only to steel, kill, and destroy! Oh BUT HE came that we may have life to the full, till it overflows.
Are you overflowing? Don’t worry if you can’t answer yes, you are not alone.
If I’m honest right now no I’m not in that overflowing part of life He died for me BUT I’m in that pressing and contending for part of life.
Lots of things have happened the last few months, things that have been extremely difficult but I’m trusting God with all that is within me and I KNOW that he works ALL things out for my good and He will for you too sweet friend.
I can’t explain why but sometimes we just gotta contend a little longer.
As we are contending for the things we are believing God for, let our posture be on our knees as we look up to the One who has the power to change things, heal things, and restore things. I don’t know about you but I need some things in our life changed, healed, and restored. The good news is God is able! He is trustworthy. He is still in the miracle making business.
Contend, pray, and believe just a little bit longer and ENTER INTO His presence as you do and things will change.
I declare you are walking in the God’s authority and the plans of the enemy are destroyed and annihilated in Jesus name! As you release the promises of God over your life, your words are full of resurrection power and none of them will fall to the ground!
Decree it with confidence my friend! For your declarations will truly come to pass! I am strong! I am fearless! No matter what am faced with only good can come out of this! God works ALL things for my good. NO weapon formed against me will prosper! Amen!
Hope you guys have a blessed and wonderful day! If you have any prayer requests please let me know I’d love to pray for you.
One word from You Things change on Your authority Your word, it’s true Things change on Your authority
Will Heaven not prevail and strongholds not be moved? Will spirits not be silenced and cower at His rule? For if my God is for me then what have I to fear? And I will not deny Him the glory that is His Will Heaven not prevail and strongholds not be moved? Will spirits not be silenced and cower at His rule? For if my God is for me then what have I to fear? And I will not deny Him the glory that is His, oh Heaven will prevail and strongholds will be moved Shout it out Spirits will be silenced and cower at His rule I know my God is for me so what have I to fear? For nothing will deny Him the glory that is His
One word from You Things change on Your authority Your word, it’s true Things change on Your authority
Heaven will prevail and strongholds will be moved Spirits will be silenced and cower at His rule I know my God is for me so what have I to fear? For nothing will deny Him the glory that is His
Hey y’all !! What’s up? What’s up? I haven’t been here in a while, lots going on in our neck of the woods. How about y’all?
My hubby is STILL working from home y’all! Prolly no plans to go back in the office till the first of the year.
My Daddy is in the process of moving here so we are trying to find him a place and get him settled.
Had some close family members with some serious health and my grandmother past away about a month or so ago. No one was able to be with her and she died all alone and I think that just made it more difficult. There are some other things but I can’t share them. Just a difficult season here, which I know it is for many of you.
Had a lot on my mind as we’ve being going through all these different things. Add in my health issues and school, no alone time, being stuck at home 🤪 and the Rona I’ve found myself frozen at times, maybe you can relate to that.
Some of you know I’ve been in school to become a Holistic Health and Wellness practitioner which I’m so excited about this journey the Lord has had me on. It’s just taken me a little longer than I thought it would but it’s ok Imma get there. It’s ALL in Gods timing.
Extending grace to myself is so much harder than it is to do for someone else. I’ve had a lot going on around me and IN me. Some of you know I’ve struggled with ED…….eating disorder. Sometimes ED screams so loud and other days I feel victorious and it’s so quite. I’m in counseling with a nutritionist who is awesome but imma just say it’s hard work and it’s an every day battle.
A battle to NOT weigh myself everyday.
A battle to eat lunch or not eat lunch.
A battle to not restrict food.
A battle to not eat a bunch of cookies or a big cup of Cheeseballs.
It’s just a battle.
I know the battle belongs to the Lord but sometimes we’ve done things for so long they become ingrained in us and they become a habit and it is a process of overcoming.
So where am I at today? And this sooooo soooo important to recall these things.
I’m not where I wanna be but I’m not where I use to be either.
Well….I’m no longer abusing laxatives or diuretics. I haven’t done that in 2 years or more. That’s a big ole W!!! 🎉
There were days I would wake up and decide I’m not going to eat today and I wouldn’t. Now I’ve come to realize that restricting food was a form of punishment to myself. I can tell you that thought hasn’t crossed my mind in months, PRAISE THE LORD!! 🙏🙌🎉
I’m not weighing myself everyday. Y’all literally don’t even know what an amazing accomplishment this is. I would weigh myself everyday, sometimes 2-3 times a day. In order to do this though I had to remove the scale from the bathroom and outta my sight. The first week was so hard I almost got up in the middle of the night to weigh myself, I know it sounds crazy. But that’s ED for ya! I did really well for about 2 or 3 months and not even sure what happened but I decided to go to it’s deep dark hiding place and pulled that evil scale out and stepped on it. THAT WAS A BAD MISTAKE FOR ME! It set me over the top because I had actually gained a little weight. I got in all kinds of fear and old patterns started showing up. Imma do this, Imma do that. I’m not gonna eat this or that. Imma exercise for X amount. That’s ED behavior and it’s what I’m trying to overcome.
But here’s the thing, I’m finally allowing my body and metabolism to heal from all the dieting and self destructive behavior I’ve done to my body so that’s going to happen before it gets better. You can’t put your body through hell for years and years and expect it to perform a peak condition in just a few months. NO it took me a lifetime to get here. It’s a healing process kinda like how our hearts have to heal after being broken. I could just choose something quick and fast because so often quick and fast works, we see results but its temporary and we find ourselves right back in the same place 6 months or 2 years from now at least that’s been my experience. At this place in my life I’m choosing healing and finally getting to the root and freedom even if it takes me a lifetime.
So my whole purpose when the Lord lead me to my counselor, Hope who lead me to the nutritionist, Amie. I said to her I don’t want to lose weight…..well I mean the flesh part of me does but the inner man of me wants freedom and healing and to finally have a healthy relationship with food AND the scale AND love my body AND not curse it.
Far to long I’ve gained my worth and value over what I saw in the mirror and what number I saw on the scale. You may not be able to relate to that particularly. For you it might be how your house looks, the clothes your wear, your job or title, car you drive, your kids, neighborhood you live in, etc. At some point most of us at have tried to find our value in other things. I’m hear to tell you it will LEAVE YOU EMPTY and searching for more my friend!!
Only Jesus can feel that hole that we try so desperately to fill with other things.
Another BIG W 🎉 is I’m eating lunch almost every single day. I haven’t done that in yeeeaaaarrrssss y’all! That’s incredible! But let me tell you how scary that is. To add in eating lunch….a meal I haven’t ate in years AND NOT WEIGHING MYSELF. That’s straight up dope right there!! Lol 😂 But also sooo scary.
I’ve felt for so many years the Lord pull me to Health and Wellness Coaching and Holistic things because I’ve been through so much health wise and it’s always fascinated me.
It’s been my passion AND MY STRUGGLE.
Only GOD can turn, a MESS into a MESSAGE, a TEST into a TESTIMONY, a TRIAL into a TRIUMPH, a VICTIM into a VICTORY.
Let me ask you, do you know what your passionate about?
What causes you pain?
What has been your struggle?
Have you been suffering alone?
Let me just say that’s exactly what the enemy wants you to do is isolate yourself and make you feel all alone when in reality there are many others with the same struggles you have. You just need to find someone you can be vulnerable with, that’s why small groups are so important. Gotta get that plug in lol. We are better together!
This is what I can tell you, it may not make sense but what you’ve struggled with, what has caused you agonizing pain, what’s caused you to isolate is more than likely also something your passionate about and I’ll go even further to say that it could even be YOUR CALLING! Of course, only you know that. But very often that’s the case.
For me sometimes the voice of doubt and insecurity is so loud in my ears….Did God really tell you to do this Nicole? People want somebody who has it all together and knows their stuff. That’s what I tell myself but truth in my heart says, I want someone who’s been in the pit themselves and who knows exactly where I’ve been or where I’m at. I’m willing to bet that’s what you want too.
I read something today that so spoke to me because there are so many days as I go through this process that I feel unqualified and I feel like why on earth would someone ever listen to me I’m STILL STRUGGLING and quite honestly it may always be the “throne in my flesh” but I WILL continue on my journey of wholeness and freedom.
This was the devotion blog. “Currently, I’m in a season where anorexia is trying to win again. Let me share some truth with you. What ever battle you’re facing today, whether it’s comparison, doubt, pride, lust, self harm, fill in the blank ____. This does not define you! My eating disorder does not define me. It’s apart of my story and my story is still being written, Your story is still being written!”
This is as real as it gets right here folks. She’s STILL struggling and she’s STILL helping and encouraging people. I LOVE THAT SO MUCH! “It’s part of her story,” just like it’s part of MY STORY AND YOUR STORY. We don’t have to have it all together to help someone we just need to be willing and available.
What I hope and pray people see is the real me, the one who will sit down with you and take the mask off and say “Hey, this is my struggle too and precious friend you’re not alone.” This is me in my brokenness….my passion and my struggles!
I AM A TROPHY OF GRACE AND SO ARE YOU SWEET FRIEND!
“God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” Romans 5:8
In case you were wondering…..Jesus Loves YOU! End of story, He loves you just the way you are…..flaws and all. You don’t have to get all fixed up to come to the Father. Nope you just come as you are.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
SWORD OF THE SPIRIT:
“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” 1 John 3:1
“Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the great deep.” Psalm 36:5-6
“But you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love…”Nehemiah 9:17
It’s a simple message but one that needs to get deep down on the inside of you my friend! If you are unsure He loves you I challenge you to talk to God and ask Him to show you ways he loves you. Look up scriptures and begin saying everyday multiple times a day “God loves me” “Jesus loves me” until it becomes so real to you and you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God loves you.
Did you know God has prepared your path? I know sometimes it feels like that path can be long, dark, and even feel lonely but I assure you you are not alone. You maybe in a very dark trial right now and it may feel like what you’re going through will never end, but God has a plan and even an end date to your suffering. God is with you and will never leave you, He is concerned about what concerns you and longs to bless His children and bring healing and restoration to their lives.
So let me encourage you today to keep hanging in there, now is not the time to give up. NOW is the time to PRESS IN! Press in to Jesus…your healing, your breakthrough is on the way!
Its been my experience in times like these when the path your on feels dark, painful, and lonely it’s seems easy to throw in the towel but you are stronger than you think. YOU have resurrection power living on the inside of you so tap into that! I need you to remember He is FOR YOU, and He’s making a way when there seems no way! I need you to remember that NO weapon formed against you will prosper. Even in the pain, in the darkness, He’s still there, and cheering you on!
He’s with you always.
He will never leave you nor forsake you!
Sometimes its long, lonely and dark, but there is no place or pit to dark or to deep that God can’t reach down gentle pick you up.
Never doubt He’s love for you, He’s with you always carrying you, leading and guiding you.
“You’re parting waters, Making a way for me. You’re moving mountains that I don’t even see. You’ve answered my prayer before I even speak. All You need for me to be is still”
I am so thankful He has been preparing a way for me. He is making my crooked places straight and He’s doing the same for you my friend! Declare that out loud today.
God is so good and faithful!
SWORD OF THE SPIRIT:
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. – Romans 8:28
The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. – Proverbs 16:9
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. – Psalm 32:8
But, as it is written, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him.” – 2 Corinthians 2:9
The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way. – Psalm 37:23
Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. – Proverbs 19:21
Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off. – Proverbs 23:18
Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. – Psalm 139:16
The Lord of hosts has sworn: “As I have planned, so shall it be, and as I have purposed, so shall it stand. – Isaiah 14:24
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. – Ephesians 2:10
The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands. – Psalm 138:8
Even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will. – Ephesians 1:4-5
The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand. – Psalm 37:23-24
Making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth. – Ephesians 1:9-10
And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. – Philippians 1:6